When you can't prove grounds…

FYI: If for any reason you feel that you will not be able to prove your allegations that your spouse treated you cruelly or inhumanly (that means you have witnesses, police reports, psychiatric reports, confessions, you have stayed in a shelter to avoid violence from your spouse, etc), then you might as well go with the safest ground which is constructive abandonment. If your spouse is likely to fight this and bring proof (one case I have heard of the spouse brought is viagra vial and showed the court SUCCESSFULLY that the missing tablets meant that he and his wife had a swinging “marital” life) then you could be in for a fight. And of course, if you have a child who is your husband’s and the child is under a year old, you probably can’t successfully argue that you were constructively abandoned.
Unfortunately New York is not a no fault state. So you do have to prove grounds for a divorce if your spouse forces your hand. Normally, though, I have found that when both people want the divorce, the best ground to use is ABANDONMENT.