Divorce envy: when friends compete to see who gets the "best" divorce


Is your friend getting divorced? I was reading an article tonight about how divorces tend to come in clusters, and how if you are in a circle of people or close associates, and one person gets divorced, that eventually, more people in the group will get divorced too. These copycat divorces tend to happen to people of roughly the same age and socio-economic groups. It’s almost as if, among other things, people want to keep up with the Jones’ divorces as well with everything else the Joneses have. I would almost go further to say that people actually might “envy” each other’s divorce. Does this make any sense?
But it goes even beyond just jumping on the divorce bandwagon. Competing divorcees also want to get roughly the same or more in their divorce settlement as their friends.
I try to counsel clients that they should not compete with their friends’ divorce. You are not your friends. You are you. Your friends may not tell you the exact truth about their financial situation, or their divorce settlement. So you can’t realistically expect the same outcome.
Try to remember that just like no two marriages are the same, no two divorces are the same. It may look the same on the outside, but believe me, your marriage is different from your friends’, you are different, and so is your divorce – no matter what it looks like on the outside.