Some people react badly when a former spouse seems to move on too quickly after a divorce. In other words, the ink has barely dried on the judgment of divorce, and there is your ex parading around with another man or woman. It makes you sick.
But are you feeling sick because you are jealous? Or are you feeling sick because you suspect that your spouse had been unfaithful during the marriage and never leveled with you?
It seems that a sense of possessiveness lingers with formerly married couples for a while. So that if what you are feeling is jealousy, there is no reason to feel guilty about it, or to beat yourself up. This was your significant other, after all.
If you are feeling disgust, that is normal too. But the way to quickly diffuse that is to find a new relationship of your own. While it is not necessarily a good thing to get into a rebound relationship with someone who is clearly wrong for you, it does help to replace the person as soon as possible.
If you can’t find someone to replace them with, replace them with a thing, or place. Get a new pet, find a new city to move to, take up a new job, travel for a longer period of time than you normally would, meet new friends of the same sex who are experiencing divorce as well, adopt something or someone, get busy.
The busier you are, the less likely you’ll have time to fret about who your spouse is shagging. Because as tough as this is to swallow, once you are divorced, it is no longer your business what this person does – just as it is not their business what you do.
But your feelings are your own and you can take your time privately to work through them.