On interim-divorce-"you-know-what"

(Can you believe you can’t use the “S” word without censorship?) Anyway, the question is, can you have sex with somebody else while the divorce is pending? Well, we at the Divorce Saloon would advise against any such commingling till the divorce is finalized. Technically, once the summons and complaint have been filed in a divorce action, the bell starts to toll on that marriage but it’s not over till it’s over. But it kind of pretty much over at the point you serve the papers.
So, for example, the clock stops ticking on any new accumulation of equitable distribution claims. Although, I should be careful when I say this. Because, let’s say you are married to a CEO at AIG. You have filed for divorce on December 6Th 2008. The divorce is not final till December 6th 2009. Both you and your husband are 40 years old at the time you file.
Okay. Now, let’s say that as a part of his compensation package or even his signing bonus, your husband received a deferred compensation pension, or stock option or something like that that is payable in the future, long after you are divorced. So long as he received this “perk” after your marriage and before the summons and complaint was filed in your divorce action, it is marital property. So whenever he actually receives this compensation in the future, you are entitled to the marital share of it. Whether you will wait till he actually receives it (what if it is 25 years from now and you’re 65???) or you get the present value of that share of it now at the time of divorce, will depend on the nature of the compensation, and the agreement you and he strike. So in that sense, the clock did stop ticking on equitable distribution when you filed the divorce. But not really. You understand what I mean?
But, so, what were we talking about?…I got all side tracked…What do you want to talk about?Compensation or sex? Let’s get back to talking about sex. Specifically, interim-divorce bleep bleep bleep, with someone other than your spouse. So, my position is, I advise against it. Well, different lawyers may have a different opinion on this issue. I think it sends the wrong message to the trier of fact or the judge or who ever is going to decide the outcome of your divorce. Especially depending on the grounds that are asserted for the action, and who is the plaintiff and who is the defendant and what the specific nature of your particular divorce turns out to be.
Even though post-petition bleep bleep bleep with person other than your spouse does not and should not technically factor into equitable distribution (and even custody), it might, depending on the circumstances. I mean, let’s say you’re the wife. You are asserting your husband committed adultery and other atrocities during the marriage. You are asking for life long alimony, custody, etc.
Meanwhile, there you are gallivanting around the city with a different man every two nights. You are leaving the kids with nannies almost around the clock. Maybe you are even making Page Six of the New York Post as a socialite with a night life unmatched on Manhattan Island. It shouldn’t really matter. But all I am saying, it might.
The judge will never say that she is ruling a particular way because of your interim divorce dating bleep bleep bleep action. But I think it might send the wrong message, and may not be in your best interest. So if you must date, and if you must have bleep bleep bleep while your divorce action is pending, be discreet. If you can, hold your horses; wait till everything is over before you shag anybody. Of course, if you’ve just met your very own Nicolas Sarkozy, who am I to tell you to wait. But Carla, keep it on the low down. Okay?