When a spouse files for divorce behind another spouse's back

It can’t be all that great to learn about your divorce in the media (like Debbie Metanopoulus) or by  text message, or some other public forum. Many celebrities these days seem to be going that route. Keven Federline was reportedly dumped by text message. In this week’s People Magazine, he talks about the fact that Britney went behind his back and filed for divorce, even though he was of the mind set that they were “working things out.”
Marriage is complicated and so, I can’t sit here and say that people should never ask for a divorce in any other forum except face to face. Sometimes the circumstances of a marriage just does not lend to that kind of diplomacy. I mean, I can totally see myself, personally, getting so emotionally overcome in a particular situation, that, maybe I could even take out a full page ad in the New York Times to tell him it’s over if the wrong buttons get pushed.
But I would say that to the extent possible, people should try not to blindside their spouse and they should definitely try not to do it in a public forum. That just turns your entire relationship and your life (and that of your children) into a circus. And, rationally, who needs that?
For us ordinary folks, the same rules apply. We may not be Britney and Kevin, but could very quickly become Trisha Walsh Smith – the YouTube Divorcee in New York who completely made an arse of herself with that video she made. And it didn’t even pay off. The judge completely threw the book at her in the end.
Try to divorce with dignity to the extent possible. I think you will be a lot happier. Britney may not have melted down the way she did if she had handled the end of her marriage like a dignified adult.  Maybe she wouldn’t even be under that preposterous conservatorship if she had handled things differently.  We can lose so much when we allow ourselves to be ruled solely by our dark impulses.  Need to know how to ask your spouse for a divorce? Read this.