With the FBI calling, should you dump your Wall Street hubby?

Here’s the scenario: You’ve been in a long term marriage (since the 1970’s, say) to a man you met in college. When you met, your combined networth was negative $2500. After college, he got a job as a stock broker on Wall Street and you became a New York City school teacher. He was very good at his work and before long, he was a trader – one of the best the Street had ever seen. Make a long story short, his storied career ended with him running a billion dollar hedge fund where all of his investors were large corporations, Middle Eastern banks, and high net worth individuals.
You haven’t worked since your first child who is now 35 was born. You’ve raised your 3 children, provided a home for your husband, entertained the guests and otherwise provided for his personal and business needs, and for that of the family.
He was a good provider but it was not what you would call a happy marriage. It is not even about the infidelities. He doesn’t communicate. You don’t have the kind of camaraderie you’ve been yearning for. Plus, you’re bored and have been for some time. There are things you would like to do, places you’d like to be, like in Mongolia or Chile, teaching underprivileged children. But you can’t. Because you are married…But…do you want to be married. You’ve been thinking a lot about it lately. You are not getting any younger and you would rather have quality of life now. You don’t have the quality of life you yearn for in your marriage. But what are your options? Do you ask your husband for a divorce?
But wait. It turns out your husband has been up to some tricks that have resulted in frequent visits from the Federal Bureau of Investigation. He’s been accused of orchestrating a “Ponzi Scheme”, say, whereby he pays early investors with the investment dollars from new investors, a practice, I gather, is a no no in the financial realm. 
Your whole family is nervous because he has pretty much told you “I’m broke” this whole thing is  a “sham”. I can’t pay my investors and they are demanding in excess of $7 billion back. I barely have $100 million.
Finally, the FBI shows up one early Sunday morning and your dear husband is arrested for securities fraud. He is being accused of swindling investors out of billions!
You know he is guilty. Everybody knows he’s guilty. They can see it on his face. He can’t even look anybody in the face. Certainly, he can’t talk to you. What is going to happen? What will you do?
You have begun to think the unthinkable. You want to leave. You want out. But can you leave now? Don’t you have to be there for him? What will everyone think if you left him now?  And what are your rights? What are your legal rights? Will your husband have to forfeit everything he’s worked for for nearly forty years? Will there be anything left for you? And what do you even own? Since your marriage he has handled all the finances. You wouldn’t even know where to begin to sort through all that information. What do you do?
Well, I have no sage advice for you. This is a tough situation. If your husband is as good as incarcerated for the rest of his life (what is he, about 70?) you are going to be single anyway. And in New York, if you wait 3 years, you can get a divorce on the grounds of imprisonment. Are you going to want to wait 3 years after his conviction? I mean, you have to figure that the trial and sentencing will take about a year. So for the next four years your life is in limbo. By that time, he’s exhausted all the marital funds on his defense – and you and I both know that it is highly unlikely he’s coming out of this one “alive.” So, in a way, all that money will just fill his lawyer’s pocket. What will be there for you? And certainly, whatever is left, if anything, the Feds will want some sort of forfeiture and restitution. Thirty five years of marriage and what do you get by staying? Nought.
On the other hand, this is a long term marriage. It doesn’t sound like you hate him. You just want out. But he’s down. It is not nice to kick a man when he is down. He needs you more than ever. He needs you.
This is a predicament.  All I can say is think carefully about your choices. Investigate. Gather information. Meditate. And plan to act quickly, whatever you decide.