On celebrating the holidays with your ex for the kids' sake

The holidays are upon us and many families are struggling with the issue of where the kids will spend the holidays. Here in New York, many divorce settlement agreements include visitation schedules, holiday schedules and parenting time schedules. What often happens is that the kid(s) get to alternate the holidays with each parent. So if the divorce happens in 2008, Minnie and Andy may spend Thanksgiving with mom and Christmas with dad. In 2009 They spend Thanksgiving with Dad and Christmas with mom. Or one parent may get the whole holidays one year, and the other parent get the next.
But some families, like the Moore-Willises, are doing it in a whole different way. They are deciding to spend the holidays together for the sake of the children. So even though Demi Moore is now divorced from Bruce Willis and is married to Ashton Kutcher, she and her two men have decided to put aside any lingering jealousies and insecurities for the sake of the three girls Ms. Moore had with Mr. Willis.
Mr. Willis who is still single but who does have a serious girlfriend, brings his girlfriend along for the celebrations. They are one big, happy, functional and extended family. And it is a beautiful thing. Isn’t it?
I have said in many of my past blog entries that the adults must try to remember that the kids did not get divorced. To the extent possible, I am a believer that the children’s lives should be as unaffected as possible by the familial changes of divorce. Of course, some relationships are too volatile for this to even be a serious consideration. So I am not pushing it for everybody.
But to the extent bearable, I say, why not? It seems to work for Demi and Bruce…Say, do you think Bruce is just a little bit jealous of Ashton? I mean, when all is said and done, that has to be just a tiny bit weird. What do you think?