Mom's house or Dad's house for the holidays? A child's predicament

Poor little babies. Will Christmas be with mommy or daddy this year? As more and more families fall apart, children are increasingly left in a quandary. Which parent will they live with and how often will they see the other parent? It must be alienating and lonely for them sometimes.
But my big question is, why should a kid have to choose where to spend the holidays? Why can’t more parents just share the kids during the holidays? Why can’t they build new post-divorce traditions that include the whole extended family coming together around the holidays for the sake of the children?
During the holidays it is likely that children will feel even more torn. I am certain that given a choice, most kids would want to spend it with mommy and daddy as opposed to one or the other. When Santa comes down the chimney, kids almost universally would love to have mommy and daddy right there to help them open gifts.
But what if mommy and daddy are divorced or about to be divorced and not living together? In which bed will the children wake up on Christmas morning? Who will play Santa? Will their gifts be duplicated by uncommunicative spouses?
Parents have to be committed to giving children the warmest, most inclusive holidays possible. To do that, they need to collaborate with each other, to communicate and to compromise. Under the best of circumstances, there is no reason why two parents can’t spend the holidays together for the children’s sake. Madonna and Guy Ritchie are reportedly doing it. And any mature ex couple can find a way to make it happen. The kids will be so thankful, merry and bright.
Divorced parents ought to think about starting and continuing certain holiday traditions for the children, like waking up Christmas morning and baking ginger bread cookies with the kids, the two of you. Yes it sounds unimaginable (and it’s easy for me to say since I don’t have to deal with this situation) but if it is only once per year, I don’t think that will be that hard to do if it brings joy to your children. The more the traditions include all the players in the family, the better.
Here in New York, the courts usually have the parents alternate the holidays. But why can’t parents decide to let each other see the kids every holiday. Even those parents who live in different cities can arrange a year in advance to be in the same city for the holidays so that the kids have both parents in the room, or in close proximity at this wonderful time of year – a season for children unlike any other.
To pull this off, parents are going to have to cooperate with each other, form a truce with each other to put aside differences for the children’s sake – no fighting and pushing buttons, leave that till January.
Parents should not be the grinch who steal their children’s Christmas with venom and immaturity. I read a great article on Newsweek that I think all parents should read. Check it out: