3 things to do during the holidays when you are newly divorced

Are you one of those people who gets blue around the Holidays? It’s not just you, this phenomenon happens to a lot of people. A lot of your emotions are subconscious choices which you can change, if you work at it. But if you just got divorced, or if this is your first holiday since you divorced, it may not be so easy to not feel blue. In fact, you may be tempted to feel even bluer than usual. We have come up with 3 little things you can do to lessen the blue factor during the holidays this year, if you have just ended (or about to end) your marriage.
1. Give joy to the World
When you are focused on how blue you are feeling and always feel around the holidays, your locus of control is internalized but in a negative sense. Your own feelings basically gang up on you to make you feel blue. But this year, instead of staying alone in the apartment moping, consciously decide to go out and spread joy. Visit people who are confined such as in the hospital, nursing home, prison, or other such “institutions” and bring a gift basket with you that costs under $10.00.  Or, donate something you have to a philanthropic cause whose mission you believe in. Or invite over as many people as will come to your holiday/Christmas Day dinner party. And either cook for them yourself or have them each bring a dish and have a pot luck.  
2. Travel
Don’t sit around and take this blueness anymore. Go somewhere you’ve never been, or someplace you’ve been but would love to go again. And make it a tradition to travel around the holidays from now on. By December 23rd of each year, you should already be on a plane, ship or train to someplace that you have re-selected maybe even a year in advance. Go and meet new people and form new traditions. Or try a new spa or retreat anywhere in the world that you dare. Only money should be an obstacle to how far and how long you take off for.
3. Plot your comeback
Divorce has and will re-arrange your life. In some ways you will feel you are starting over from scratch. It is scary because that means change. The vicissitudes of life after you cease being married to that particular person will almost be like a smack in the face. Can you cope? How can you cope. You are more than likely scared to death, and lonely too, at this time of year. But you can own the fear and you can sit with a brand new journal, and you can start to map your new life, you can start to map strategies to make the next phase of your life the most significant yet – even after a long marriage fails. You may have to figure out how to return to the work force after a long break being a stay at home mom, you may have to figure out how to be a non-custodial parent if your spouse won custody. You may have an idea for a business you’ve always wanted to start. You may need to get in touch with some people or places that you’ve lost touch with over the years. Whatever. This is a good couple of weeks while everyone is busy celebrating, for you  to get quiet, reflect, and figure out where to go from here.
Oh, and hey, you’ve got us. We are thinking of you and rooting for you. Merry Christmas!