Will your divorce drive your toddler to a psychiatrist's couch in 20 years?

Having a shrink is a status symbol for many. For others, it’s a necessity; the only way they are going to avoid slitting their wrists. For some people, their “unhappy childhood” often involves parents who got a divorce when the children were still very young. So the kids still have abandonment issues even after becoming adults. 
While I have never been on a psychiatrist’s couch (some would argue that I would obtain great benefits if I did, ha ha ha), or had parents who divorced, I do have friends and acquaintances who proudly divulge their sessions with their shrinks. I have always been fascinated with that. I am not from a culture that would ever be proud of getting shrink help. But, today, it is de riguer. Even movie stars proudly reveal this aspect of their lives in glossy magazine interviews and Barbara Walters Specials. It’s the kind of thing that makes me go, “wow!” You know? 
But so, when Nancy Silverman’s husband Henry Silverman was having business problems in the late 1990’s, he reportedly sought the help of a psychiatrist. And one of the first things he told the psychiatrist is, “this is not about mommy and daddy….” I personally found that hilarious when I read that in, I believe, a Business Week Article. But I also wondered what their divorce will do to their twenty something daughter Cassie Silverman.
Although, Cassie is lucky. She is not a little toddler who stills sees the world through rose colored glasses. She probably has seen some epic fights between her parents over the years, and like any adult child, may have wondered at least once, “why don’t you just get a divorce and leave me alone!!!”
But the story is a bit more tragic for young children. By and large it seems that the impact of divorce on young children can be quite enormous. And the effects are often not felt till they are grown adults. It affects their own relationships and marriages. It affects how they parent. It affects how they move through the world.
What is my point? I mean, I don’t know. I guess it is just to say that when you are going through a divorce and you have young children, try to remember to factor them into every decision. Try to remember to be sensitive to how they are feeling. And try not to put the children in the middle. This sense of loss is so great, that it never quite leaves many children. So, I guess, my point is, if you don’t want your child to spend his or her adult life in a psychiatrist’s office, then try to have a “child centric” divorce. (http://www.divorcesaloon.com/the-child-centric-divorce)