A lot of people get divorce guilt. Guilt is something I understand because I am a guilt ridden individual. I mean, look at what I did yesterday. I decided to try out the divorce diet which my friend told me about and which I wrote about here ( http://www.divorcesaloon.com/the-divorce-diet), knowing fully well that the diet was ridiculous and that there is no way I could handle it. I am one of those people who hasto eat and who, historically, goes berserck the minute I put the word “diet” into my brain. So what do I do? I decide to try the diet and I got so bloody hungry that, right after I had the last clementine last night, I ordered in a pizza pie around 10:00. Now, I am someone who NEVER orders a pizza pie. It’s just that I was so incredibly hungry and knew I could not fall asleep until I had satiated myself. I am so ashamed and guilt ridden by how many slices I gorged on, that I can’t even tell you. But it was bad. It was a lot. And for me, a record. This morning as I write, I feel so guilty about this situation, I think I may yet go insane.
So I understand guilt, and I know that a lot of people get this affliction, especially when they are the ones who asked for the divorce. It is a tough situation, but I really feel that the way to handle it is through therapy. But it also helps to know that you did everything you could to save the marriage and that your decision was well thought out and not rash, and that in your heart you really feel that the marriage had irretrievably broken down.
It is natural to feel at least some guilt about such a momentous decision as getting a divorce. And the longer you’ve been married, you can just plan to add 10 pounds of guilt per year of marriage. But I was reading an article yesterday about this issue and I agree with the author who said “there are some marriages that should end.” In that case, so long as you are on the right side of your own internal moral compass, and you feel you have done everything to save this union, do yourself a favor and let go of the guilt.
Find other ways to distract yourself. Every time you feel this horrible emotion welling up, do 100 push ups. That’s what I am going to do now to assuage my own guilt. I am going to do 100 push ups.
Check out this earlier post: http://www.divorcesaloon.com/how-to-walk-out-of-your-marriage-and-feel-no-guilt