Many people feel a tremendous amount of anger during and after the divorce process. They may feel betrayed, blind-sided, alienated and wrongly accused. This is true for both men and women. In fact, I just did a post called the Divorced Dads and the disenfranchised father syndrome http://www.divorcesaloon.com/divorced-dads-and-the-disenfranchised-father-syndrome and the author of the piece I reference referred to effect of divorce on some men as similar to post traumatic stress.
Divorce is tough and people get angry sometimes, and they don’t exactly know how to handle it. I think therapy is always a good idea. But other things might help, like quickly finding new things and people to be involved in and with. Healthy things, like new hobbies, art, volunteerism.
I have found that when we spend more time thinking about others, and a little bit less time on our problems, life is more bearable. I think that might work for people feeling a lot of anger. Find something else to focus on that brings comfort to someone else. Or take up activities that induce a sense of peace. Always seek peace. It is such an under-rated state of being. PEACE.
Whatever it takes to achieve it, whether prayer, mediation, physical activity, moving, finding new friends and relationships, helping others, re-establishing long lost relationships, whatever. There are so many other things to do and to focus on than feeling angry about your divorce.
Sure, it’s hard. And it’s a personal pain. And who feels that pain knows that pain better than any other person. But you can’t let this take control of your life. You have to take control of it, and handle it. The only way to do that is to step around and away from this emotion, and re-channel your thoughts, energies, and life. ASAP.
Oh, and as an afterthought, don’t forget the power of humor. Yes, I know that divorce is not funny. But what you have to understand is that everything in life is both funny and tragic at the same time. People think I don’t have a serious bone in my body but that is not so. I just try to make lemonade out of the lemons life gives me, and I try to laugh instead of crying sometimes. Cause, in the end? My joy is my job, and no matter what happens in life, it is each of us who is responsible for the kind of life, emotion and state of mind that we want to have.
The sooner you release that anger, the quicker you can find your true purpose in life – which, trust me, is not to remain angry and revved up in a negative way, but to find peace. And to find joy. Somehow.