Why neither Sarkozy nor Obama will get a divorce anytime soon

French President Nicolas Sarkozy will not divorce his model/pop singer wife Carla Bruni anytime soon. Au contraire, he is, as we speak toning up his perineum muscles with the assistance of a personal trainer, which, according to Page Six, will result in better pleasures for Mme. Bruni, thus a solidification of the marriage. Read the Page Six article here. As we have kindly pointed out in previous posts, Bruni is Sarkozy’s third wife and their courtship and marriage was rather speedy gonzales. Read our related Bruni posts here. So we have had some misgivings about the strength of the marriage…
But, so, what is the perineum muscle and can it really save the Sarkozy/Bruni union? To be perfectly honest with you, Sarkozy looks slightly out of shape compared to, say, Obama; and so, if this muscle is really important, chances are, his are not all that toned the way Obama’s will likely be. Although, I have to say, I have discovered that none of that matters in terms of a relationship and happiness and longevity. Some of the most successful relationships actually have two people who are literally fat and could care less about any of their muscles and the tone quotient of their perineum(s). I mean, look around you. Do you see a lot of people who give two cents about their perineum? What is the perineum anyways? As long as I’ve been on the Earth I’ve never even heard of it.
Besides, it is not muscles and fitness and beauty that determines a succesful marriage that stands the test of time. Cause, sometimes, by being too pre-occupied with your looks you become narcisstic and you are focused on yourself and not on your partner. So the marriage crumbles.
You will notice what Hara Estroff Marano said in the New York Post piece: “The biggest sex organ in your body is your brain, not your perineum.” Huh? What? Of course, she also said that Sarkozy has “little man syndrome” and that that is why he married Carla. Okay. Here’s what I think: I think the perineum has diddly squat to do with anything. And I do not think Sarkozy has little man syndrome. I think he’s like most French men – short – but with a confidence that makes him seem a lot taller. So what? Some short guys are actually very sexy. No, really! Yes, I prefer tall guys but there are some very cute short guys out there. And what’s their perineum got to do with it? In the grand scheme of things?
Obviously Carla likes Sarkozy. Sometimes that is all it takes for a successful marriage – just liking each other. She would never divorce him while he’s still in office cause she is also smart. She went to finishing schools in Switzerland. She is not an idiot.  And Sarkozy won’t divorce Carla because she obviously doesn’t care about his love handles and perineum; also, he is the envy of all the European presidents to have a babe like that as wife.
But what about Obama? What makes his marriage so strong? Well, my dear, have you ever seen the way he holds his wife? He speaks to her with his embrace. He doesn’t utter a word but you can see that he is speaking. I think that woman’s put a hex on her husband, actually. I mean, he seems like he can’t get enough of her. Wouldn’t you concur? Oh, check, out our Obama posts here.
So, what’s the takeaway? I guess both men are really happy and will be married to their current wives for a really long time – even if they both have very different perineums.
So, what the heck is the perineum anyway?