Madoff v. Dreier: Who was the better dad?

You can judge a man’s worth as a father based on his relationship he has with his children. That is my humble opinion – not that you want to know my opinion. But I am giving it to you anyway. ha ha. ha.
So. My opinion is, that, whatever happens to Marc Dreier and Bernard Madoff, these fallen Wall Street heavy hitters who have been accused of mindblowing fraud, I have to say that the response of their sons (and family) is very telling as far as the quality of the relationship these men had with their kids. I mean, look at what Bernard Madoff’s sons did to him? Andrew and Mark Madoff turned their father in to the FBI and since that time have avoided him like leprosy. It’s like, Dad who? Keep in mind that up to the last moment when they turned him in to the Feds, both of these young men were working for this man, this father of theirs. They had major shares in all his outfits both in the U.S. and in London and god knows where else. Financially, at least, it seems this man took care of his kids. I read somewhere he loaned Mark $5 million dollars to help him purchase real estate or something, when Mark was married to his first wife.
Madoff also honored the boys’ mother Ruth. He never divorced her. Not to say that a man who divorces his children’s mother “dishonors” her, necessarily. But cut me some slack. I’m an old fashioned woman in this semi-youthful body. I’m really from another generation in my thinking, and to me, a man honors a woman, makes a “decent” and “honorable” woman of her by marrying her. Correspondingly, he dishonors her with divorce. In my view. In the part of my brain that I try to push aside so that I can cope in the modern world….ok. I may have revealed too much about myself which will be used against me later. But yes. That is how I think so sue me. I don’t care.
Bernard Madoff never dishonored Mark and Andrew’s mother. He is still with her. To me, that also weighs towards the kind of man and father he was. (Plus, he always appeared in public with perfectly groomed hair; and he admitted his wrong. That says a lot.) Yet, they have turned their backs on him completely. They have put him up on the cross and have shouted, “crucify him!” with everybody else. Sure, maybe the public is justified in calling these two men the biggest “scam artists” for the ponzi and the impersonation, etc. But still, blood is blood.
Now, I am trying not to judge the boys. But this is puzzling to me. It really is. I don’t want to say I could never do that. Because who knows what any of us will or could do under the right set of circumstances? But I will say this: it is utterly and wholly inconceivable to me that I could ever do that to my dad. I can think of nothing in this whole wide world that would make me turn him in to law enforcement like this, and then to turn my back? To not talk to my father when he is obviously in deep, deep trouble and must feel so alone, desolate and terrified – irrespective of what he did? THIS IS MY DAD! THIS IS MY FATHER! Let everybody else crucify him. I stand with him. I defend him. I never, ever turn him in, or turn my back. This. is. my. dad.
I can tell you this: Donald Trump’s kids would never do this to him. At least Ivanka wouldn’t, I’d bet money on that.
So. I have concluded. Bernard Madoff must have been a sob of a father to his children. This is the only thing that justifies, in my mind, what they have done.
Ok. Now, Marc Dreier. Here’s a man in a similar predicament to Bernard Madoff in terms of what he is accused of, in terms of the gravity of his fall from grace. Both men are of similar backgrounds and pedigree – wealthy Jewish families, etc, etc. But Marc, at least for now, seems to be in a much better position. Because, right away, Marc’s son Spencer Dreier stood up and for his father. He is there for his dad, no matter what his dad is accused of, and what his dad has done. And this child is only nineteen years old! As compared to, say, the Madoff boys who are in their thirties or forties – grown men who should be able to separate their issues.
Spencer (along with his grandmother) has posted and guaranteed $10 million bond for his dad. He has literally put his neck on the line for his dad. And guess what? Unlike Madoff who remained married to the mother of his children, Dreier DIVORCED Spencer’s mom. So, as I said earlier, that could be viewed as a form of “dishonor” of Spencer’s mom. Yet, this child is there for his father to the point that he has put his neck on the line for him.
I can only conclude that Dreier must have done something good for this child. Dreier must have been a heck of a father to his children, in a way that Madoff has not been to his.
More Madoff posts: http://www.divorcesaloon.com/index.php?s=madoff
More Dreier posts: http://www.divorcesaloon.com/index.php?s=dreier