Domestic Violence Update: Will Rihanna take Chris Brown back?

Reports are swirling that Rihanna is softening towards Chris Brown and that he has been sending her gifts and flowers, as has his mother. All I have to say is Oh my word. OH.MY.WORD. This has got to be the most cliche situation. A man physically beats up on his woman, she runs home to her parents, he calls and apologizes and sends her some gifts and acts like a “puppy dog” and she, convinced he loves her more than life, runs back to be with him because she loves him too. Then, before you know it, he beats the crap out of her again. And the cycle goes on and on.
Rihanna and Chris are young and I have said a lot about this situation, including the fact that I don’t think he should be made the poster boy for domestic violence the world over. But I am adamantly against a reconciliation. This is a big mistake for Rihanna. And Chris needs to succumb to psychological counseling from professionals — not just his mother and his clergy who are not trained in this kind of pathology.
It is not just a matter of a lovers tiff that got out of control. No lover’s tiff should get so out of control that a man sees fit to put his fist in a woman’s face. There is serious pathology here and I think that Rihanna is making a serious mistake if she is thinking of going back. There is no going back to this. I’m sorry but there isn’t. It calls for strength on Rihanna’s part. She has to be strong and tell him, “you know what? I just can’t. This is over.” And let it be over. She has to end this relationship. It is incredibly unhealthy for her to go back.¬†
There is moving on, moving forward.  It is not to say that Chris is the worse guy in the world. But for her? He is not a good guy for her and this is not a healthy relationship and she needs to move on and look forward and he needs to get help.
But, I know what is going to happen. No one is going to be able to stop it. She is going to go back to him. And he is going to continue to abuse her. That’s just how the story goes. Unfortunately.
See our other Rihanna and Chris posts here: http://www.divorcesaloon.com/index.php?s=rihanna
Daily News article: http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2009/02/23/2009-02-23_chris_brown_has_sorry_story_for_rihanna.html
UPDATE: I hear congratulations are in order. It appears to be official. She took him back. Oh well. I knew she would and that is why, on some level, when a woman comes in crying domestic abuse, I almost think that at least in some cases, the “victims” of domestic abuse are almost as invested in that pathology as the “perpetrators.” This somehow feeds them both, and feeds the relationship. It is a sickness. And you know what? I think both Rihanna and Chris need to get professional help. There is a reason why he would smash up his girlfriend’s face like this that needs to be explored by a psychoanalyst and there is a reason why she would voluntarily choose to be in a relationship with someone who would do this to her even once. They both need help. I say that in the sincerest, most unsarcastic way, like an aunt would to her young niece and nephew. I mean, I have nieces and nephews their age and I would sit down my nieces and nephews and insist on them getting serious help in a situation like this. I really would. There are underlying issues that have not been fixed and cannot be fixed with flowers and gifts.