Divorce Diary of a Countess

 Dear Diary: my ex fiance spoke with the New York Post about me and I am very upset. So upset I can barely finish my agave-sweetened tea as I sit here in my Park Avenue triplex marshalling all the furniture and decorative arts  (just in case I win it all in the divorce.)
I should never have done that interview with Andrea Peyser, btw. I should have listened to my friends at Divorce Saloon because now look. The Post did this piece with my ex fiance and it makes me out to be some sort of “money-grabbing, shallow, stiletto wearing countess” and I am not. I am a very smart person and that gets lost in the translation and I am very upset…I wish they would stop calling me “countess.” They use is as some sort of pejorative term and I hate it…I wish they would just call me Marie.
Do you believe they had the nerve to say that he got away from me? As if he is some kind of big loss? As if he is some kind of big catch? My husband is old but he had it all over this cad. But, omg, did you see that picture of him in the Post?  Compared to him I have to say my husband looks like People Magazine man of the year. God. Maybe I should have worked harder on my marriage. My husband (my pumpkin) was controlling, but at least he wasn’t as ugly as this other bozo.
What should I do with my day? Well, I need a manicure. And I want to go see my friend in Westchester. When I come back, I think I will call the realtor in Sweden. Whatever happens, I am getting me a slott  in Sweden after this. And a few more things besides….I think the judge will give me even more than the $100 million I have asked for. I wouldn’t be surprised if I get double that. Would you?