Are you a daddy who wants custody? Are you a mommy who wants custody?

I was on Twitter tonight and I wound up on this website from one of my followers/followees and found this really interesting post about the importance of using your child’s name in court and with court personnel:
The article was written by Fred Campos, founder of Daddy Got Custody, LLC. I have to say it was a very good piece. I think it would behoove anyone going through a custody battle to read it, though. Not just dads. Moms too. Because this article essentially gives the readers an important heads up: NEVER REFER TO YOUR KIDS BY A PRONOUN OR IN THE THIRD PERSON IN COURT.
So for example, when the court asks questions about “the child” or “he” or “she” replace either with the child’s name. So if the child in question is named Mary. Instead of responding to the court “the child did….” you would say instead “Mary did….”
This is very subtle, but very effective. It shows a closer bond, involvement, and awareness of your child. And he advises that you never say “my” son or “my” daughter. You would always say “our” son or “our daughter.”
Scores you major points. And you know what? He is right. A lot of court proceedings are cutthroat. And the parent that comes off as being more giving with the children, more clued in to them and more bonded will likely get custody if the court is faced with two parents who are equally “fit.” Ladies, remember there is no presumption anymore that mommy will automatically get custody. Many fathers are clued in to that now and they are getting really good tips from websites like
So I would say if you are in a custody battle, or are about to be in one (Robyn Gibson, Ann Kelly (Bruce Springsteen…) then you better start to review your strategy and plan of attack. I mean, hopefully, there will be no battle. I am totally repulsed by that stuff, fighting over kids. I hate it. I think the children will thank the both of you very much if you leave them out of your petty quarrels and your vengeance. I wish a mom and dad for every child in the world because I had that, and I think it is important.
But sometimes things can’t be avoided. Life is no fairy tale, ma’am. And it is what it is, you know what I am saying? And what that means is you have to roll with the punches. If you find yourself in the midst of a custody battle in spite of your best laid plans, then make sure you are prepared by getting all these subtle little tips from websites like Daddygotcustody–whether you are the mom or the dad.
Go here for a great post called New York Divorce attorney custody checklist: