On plastic surgery and divorce a la Cate Blanchett

Originally published 12/30/09
I guess my big thing with the plastic surgery issue, as far as divorce goes, is, Cate Blanchett’s husband is selling her a tub of horse manure. No, I mean it.
Cate was just interviewed in Vanity Fair Magazine and she asserts  “I haven’t done anything, but who knows. [My husband] Andrew said he’d divorce me if I did anything. When you’ve had children, your body changes; there’s history to it. I like the evolution of that history; I’m fortunate to be with somebody who likes the evolution of that history. I think it’s important to not eradicate it.” 
And I’m sitting there thinking to myself, (and no, I’ve never had surgery either but a) I have no money; b) I’m not an actress and c) who would I be trying to impress?) that is the biggest crock of bull I’ve heard all month.  What is the history of your body after kids? Breasts that unfold to your knees, that’s what. And you know what? These husbands of celebrities are going to tell you to keep em like that? He’s going to tell you he loves the history of it? Is that a joke? But at the same time he’s “enjoying” all that history, he’s checking out babes with breasts like the Hogan girl, right? What’s her face? I forgot. But she’s apparently done something with hers and they defy nature but not in a Pamela Anderson way.
So, poor Cate. She keeps her historic breasts, but then, she loses her husband because all her history gets the better of him and he wants to feel and create and touch new experiences and make new history, right?  Purleese.
I mean, I can see if a man tells his wife, honey, ease up on the plastic surgery. You’ve had six procedures and if you get one more, it’s over. But to make a blanket rule for his actress wife who depends on her looks for job that if she gets anything done he will divorce her, that is B__sh__.
Not that I am advocating plastic surgery or anything. Cause I haven’t done it. And I probably wouldn’t only because I am terrified of either getting keloids or bleeding to death. But I would not let my husband dictate this issue to me. It’s not his call. Not when he’d go right out there and salivate over a woman with perfect breasts, lips and everything else besides.
You got that? No.