Anatomy of the gold-digger divorce

“I don’t wanna say she a gole-digga…” There is a popular rap song out right now with extremely provocative–maybe even somewhat offensive–lyrics. But quite a hot beat and even I know it, so you know it must be popular– even though I couldn’t tell you who sings it as I am not into rap usually, except for I LIKE THAT BOOM BOOM POW…WATCH MY SWAGGER….do you know that one? It’s the word “swagger” that got me. Love that word…but I don’t know who sings it either. Not to over-share, but when I take my long walks around Manhattan, I am usually singing that in my head, “watch my swagger…watch my swagger….!” God, I hope that isn’t slang for something I am unaware of…
Ok. Enough of my cuteness. I know. I’m so cute….
Let’s talk about the anatomy of the gold-digger divorce….Btw, did I ever mention that I hate that term, “gold-digger”? I mean, honestly, how insulting. And why not dig for gold? What do they want a woman to do, dig for dirt for chrissakes? What is wrong with seeking a “partnership” that is economically sound? Poverty sucks. Who needs that if they can do better? This idea that a woman who chooses to partner up with a man with money is a gold-digger is very offensive to me. I really think it is just as easy to love a rich guy as it is to love a poor guy. It’s just that with the rich guy you know for sure the student loans will get paid.  And you can go out to some nice fancy restaurants sometimes, and buy yourself a nice outfit without breaking the bank. And with the poor guy, well, sometimes he will just beat the crap out of you if there’s not enough money to pay the rent and he’s stressed out about choosing between buying baby formula and putting gas in his car. Sorry. But some do. They do! And it’s stress. And who needs it?
I think it is infinitely more intelligent and rewarding to dig for gold than to dig for dirt when choosing a partner. I think you should love and care for the person too, because money alone is cold and empty, I think, (even though I really don’t know since I have no money.) But when choosing a partner/spouse, I think economics should absolutely be factored into it, and if that is gold-digging, I’m all for it.
….Whatever Lola wants, Lola gets…I want that CD of Sarah Vaughn singing WHATEVER LOLA WANTS, LOLA GETS….luv it.
Ok. Anatomy of a gold-digger divorce. I don’t know what that would look like, to tell you the truth. I mean, as I said, I believe if you’re going to marry, do so with a sense of purpose. Consider that it is a partnership, a contract, a business. And absolutely, positively, dig for gold (as opposed to silver, brass, or god forbid, dirt). If you get dirt instead, then you get dirt instead. But DIG FOR GOLD, GIRL. GO FOR THE GOLD. You partner up with someone who you think you have the best chance of getting the better returns for your time and efforts: money, love, kids, peace, happiness….if the marriage smashes up for some reason, and money (as it often does) becomes the big issue, then, whatever. Get your fair share.
Now. One caveat. If you only marry for the money, I think that is a different matter. If you didn’t contribute anything to making the partnership stronger, that is a different matter. If you didn’t care for your spouse beyond what you could get from him or her, that is a different matter. I guess that is what “gold-digging” is. Being there just for the money. I am not for that. But keep in mind, somebody’s got to love and marry the rich guys. Why not you? Why should a woman apologize because she snagged a billionaire? Purleeze.
Factoring in economics in your calculus whether to marry or not along with other factors? I call that intelligence. Cause, like I said, poverty really, really sucks and you can be poor by yourself. And they know it.