How to take the crazy out of co-parenting after a divorce

You know, I feel a lot of unrest in the world right now. In every context. Politically, financially, environmentally, interpersonally, just everything. The weather, that crazy man in North Korea, the hurricanes and tornadoes, mean, evil, cruel people who increasingly are doing mean, evil, cruel things to others for no reason…so many haters…I am scared. I am very scared about this sort of intense negative energy I feel is purposefully and intently permeating the whole world.
That is why I feel so strongly that now, more than ever, people should marshall their families and harness their…. to keep their families intact, even if they divorce. Yes, I know that sounds sort of contradictory. But it really isn’t. I believe you can divorce and still co-parent your kids in a healthy way. Of course, I’ve never done it so it’s easy for me to say on paper.  And to be honest with you, I can see myself being unable to do it under certain circumstances, knowing myself. You know? When its over, I usually don’t ever want to see this person in my eye’s sight ever again, so now, how do I co-parent? How does Ms. Holier than thou remain mature and separate my issues the way I am preaching to you to do? Well, the good thing is, that is exactly why I am not in that position because my calling was to be that objective third party that we all need sometimes. My calling is to say, this is how it ought to be: do as I say, not as I probably would do (although, I really, really hope that, if ever put in this position, I wouldn’t deprive my children of their father just because things worked out in such a way that I hate his guts!).
But. You have to take the crazy out of co-parenting in these trying times we are living in. (Seriously, is it me or are things getting really, really intense and really really scary on many many levels? Is it me? Or is everything crazy at the moment?) So, how do you do that? How do you take the crazy out of a crazy situation? Just do it. That’s  it. Just do it.
First of all, understand how short life is. I was at a nursing home in Harlem today visiting someone, and it was my first time visiting a nursing home in my whole life, and I found myself havingto fight back the tears when I looked at all these once vibrant young people who “ruled the world” and what they have become, each of them in a wheel chair getting spoon-fed and assisted with their ablutions….  I just thought, “Jesus. This is how we all end up IF WE ARE LUCKY.” You know? And it happens so fast!  You know? And then, it’s like, what did you do in your life? When you were young? What choices did you make? Were you a kind person who tried to do right? Or were you a mean, evil person who inflicted hurt on others for no reason? What were the consequences?
There was this one old woman whose face was so angelic. She was 95 years old. You could tell she was at peace. She just smiled and smiled. Of course, she never had kids.  She had married at 55 and her husband is now 91 (she’s 95) but she seemed so at peace. And I think it’s because she felt she had lived her life the best way she knew how. I mean, she glowed so much, there was a real translucence that emanated from her. It was beautiful…
I don’t see how it could ever be the best life you could possibly lead by mucking up your kids just because you are angry with your ex. It is such a mistake to put your children in the middle of your divorce dung. DON’T DO IT. Do as I say. Co-parent like adults. Do not act like nincompoops (I sickly love the word “nincompoop” :). But really.  Spare your children the trauma of your divorce. Keep the crazy out of their little lives. When you grow old, and you are 95 years old living in a nursing home, you will have a peaceful face like that little old lady I met today named Louise.