10 reasons why more than 50% of marriages end in divorce

Marrying someone whose culture, religious beliefs and ethnic customs are so different from yours, they may even clash with yours, is one of the main reasons I think most marriages smash up. I have been very critical of say, Western women who marry and have children with men  in certain Middle Eastern countries whose culture and religious beliefs dictate that the man automatically gets custody of the kids, and that women have no real “rights” to anything. I try always not to generalize, but there is a recurring theme in say, countries like Saudi Arabia, where a woman is definitely a second class citizen, by any definition and because I am so against “unfairness” in any language, I cannot say that I have the utmost respect for these types of laws and customs (even though fundamentally, I do respect a person’s right to practice their religion as they see fit).
I may have gone a bit far with what I said in that particular post, though.  Check out this post:  http://www.divorcesaloon.com/expat-woman-in-dubai-jailed-for-cheating-should-she-lose-custody  and I should say that I ate my words just days later when I met this man who happens to be Muslim and who was so bleeping drop dead gorgeous that I walked away from my conversation with him with very bad thoughts in my head. I thought, ah, so God wanted me to learn a lesson not to generalize and not to say “never” because, not that I am crazy enough to get involved with someone whose religion and customs are in such diametric opposition to mine (please God!), but I understood how, under the right set of circumstances, a person can just fall in love with the “wrong” person (for them) and proceed to “exchange body fluids” such that a “child is created. ” I couldn’t believe that just days later I had to eat my own words that I so passionately uttered in the post as mentioned above.
That said, I still believe, that NORMALLY, people should marry others who have enough in common with them and enough that is not so diametrically opposed to them, that it creates real conflict in the relationship and marriage down the road. I honestly feel that that is a prima facie requirement for a successful marriage. For me, it has so little to do with Black and White. And so much to do with “beliefs” and “customs” and, even, “religious persuasions.”
The other reasons I think more than 50% of marriages fail are as follows:
1.  Getting married too young when one does not yet know who one is.
2. Marrying for lust (cause I understand that fades)
3. marrying just for one thing, like money or looks. (Cause what if the money runs out? Or wrinkles come?
4. having unreasonable expectations
5. having an unyielding nature
6. Unforgiveness or the inability to forgive (I would have this problem.)
7. the polygamous nature of homo sapiens
8.  Boredom
9. Violence
these are my ten reasons why more than 50% of marriages fail. but I could be totally misguided. Gosh knows, it won’t be the first time.
Originally published May 22, 2009