How to marry a man who will definitely divorce you: 10 scenarios

It is one thing to date Mr. Wrong but quite another to marry him. It’s hard to imagine how so many women continue to sign on the dotted line with Mr. Wrong when Oprah has spent so much of her time preaching to us about how to recognize Mr. Wrong, and how to live lives as independent and successful women. I have been thinking that Oprah might be single handedly responsible for the divorce rate in this country just for the fact that she inspires women to live their best lives and that could come down to getting out of a marriage that breaks their spirits rather than trying to hold on to the man out of desperation. Oprah is the antithesis of women behaving desperately, isn’t she?
But. So. How do you marry a man who will definitely divorce you? Well, first, marry Mr. Wrong. But how do you do that? Well, I’ve never personally done it myself, yet, but if I had to guess I would say that you would
1) Marry with your eyes wide shut to his bad tendencies (violence, drugs, porn, gambling, lack of ambition, criminal tendencies, whatever)
2) Marry someone with whom you are unevenly yoked
3) Marry a gay guy (if you are not a gay guy) who is posing as a straight guy.
4) Marry a man who is only with your for your looks and trophy appeal
5) Marry a man who didn’t want to marry you in the first place and forced you to resort to chicanery to get him to propose.
6) Marry a guy who is just not that into you.
7) Marry a guy who cheated on his wife to be with you
8) Marry a guy who the law says its illegal to marry
9) Marry a guy who you know is severely addicted to something–even you.
10) Marry a guy who has secret fantasies about being a priest, eunuch or life-long celibate (if your libido is still functioning.)
Originally published March 27, 2009