The rhapsody of a divorce honey-moon: How to end a marriage lovingly

Divorce Etiquette: How to end a marriage lovingly
If it’s true that Steve Wynn and Elaine Wynn are getting divorced, then they may want to consider going on a honey-moon before they actually sign off on their marriage. Couples whose marriage are on the rocks should consider going on a honeymoon. Specifically a “divorce honey-moon.” No, I’ve never actually heard of such a thing, I just made it up tonight, but I don’t see why not. In fact, I think a whole new industry might be created by this concept of a “divorce honey-moon.” I think there is a place for it. I think it is an idea whose time has come. Just like the hotel industry came up with a concept like Sandals for couples, they can come up with a concept like a divorce honeymoon that caters to people who are getting divorced. What would they call the chain? I don’t know. But I am sure they can think of something…boy, if I had the dough I’d do it myself!
Isn’t this a brilliant idea?! You know what? I seriously think I’m a friggin genius. I’ve decided. No, seriously, think about it. Look at Brad and Jen. When they broke up back in 2004, they did it with such love, beauty and grace. They went off to a tropical island (Anguilla, was it?) and they made love, enjoyed the ocean breeze, hung out with friends. At night, Brad probably said to her “I’ve got a crush on you, sweetie pie…but I want a divorce….don’t be angry….I love you. You are my best friend…but I really have the hots for Angelina….”
It was the most touching thing. He gave her a last kiss while wearing the “trash” tee shirt, in a moment that is forever immortalized in our consciousness. What a sublime way to end a marriage. I wish more people would do that. They could actually go off to Vegas for a weekend or something, stay at the Wynn Las Vegas, play some slot machines, dine, see a show, whatever; or they could go to a romantic island like Brad and Jen did…where will Steve and Elaine go? They can’t go to the Wynn. They could probably go ski-ing in Idaho. Oh, wait. Steve can’t see all that well (I wonder how he knows the other woman is better looking that his wife if his sight is compromised?) so maybe skiing is not a good idea. I don’t know where they would go for a divorce honey-moon. Maybe something grown up. Like New York. They could take a private jet to New York. Stay at the Waldorf. Check out some shows, like Woody Allen at the Carlyle (I’ve always wanted to do that!); dine at some cozy places like where? Oh, I don’t know. Check our Gwyneth Paltrow’s GOOP for that. She’s got a whole bunch of great places for rich people to go to. My restaurant of choice these days is Starbucks, darling. But you get what I mean, right? Every divorcing couple should go on a divorce honey-moon. Believe me, when they get back, they will save a ton on the divorce lawyers cause they won’t be so angry at each other. Look at Brad and Jen…
That’s amore!…what? WHAT? What? I’ve jumped the shark? Is that it? It’s a really good idea! No, it is!
Fine. Forget it. Check out our other Wynn posts here:
Originally published March 9, 2009