Sex & Divorce: What’s your libido got to do with it?

My friends from Rochester came out with us for dinner at a local South African restaurant tonight and over cocktails (campari and guava infused margaritas for the girls, Guinness for the boys) we got to talking about my favorite topic – Divorce – and the reason for it. She and the guys felt that  libido issues factored heavily into most people’s divorces. I felt not.
Not that I’m saying that sex has nothing to do with some marriages breaking up. It probably does. But a lot of folks have said to me that the “sex is the first thing to go” in a marriage; but I never got the sense that it was ever really the tipping point. It seems to me that the tipping point is usually pecuniary in nature. It is usually about the money.
And I think statistics support this contention. In fact, in high income unions, the rate of divorce is markedly lower than couples who are more middle class or even less affluent than that. That is not to say that rich people don’t get divorced. Look at all these billionaires whose marriages are going belly up. Look at Edra Blixseth! Her marriage not only went belly up, her divorce settlement has been reduced to the biggest “yard sale” in Montana and other parts of the country as trustees auction off 13 truckloads of her possessions won in the divorce settlement from husband Tim….it wasn’t sex that broke those two love birds up. They had a lot of money and possessions, including a “16-bedroom chateau in France for $28 million, a golf resort on the Pacific coast of Mexico for $40 million and property in St. Andrews, Scotland, for $12 million.” And that is what became their undoing, just as it does for a  lot of couples.
It’s almost as if no matter what your socio economic group, money is a poison that tends to wreck marriages  (for one reason or another), a lot more so than sex or a lack of libido does. And it makes sense. Because at the end of the day one can live without sex. But one cannot live without money.
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