Divorce & Weight Loss: What's the low down?

breadThe day after Thanksgiving finds me thinking about weight loss for some weird reason. Maybe its because I am just hours past my Thanksgiving feast, which, to be honest, was not as maximalist as it could have been. I cooked. And I made a point of eschewing gluttony for once. And I actually made a turkey from scratch. I took that bad boy (about 10 pounds from neck to ass) and I steamed him in this amazing concoction of soy sauce, peppercorns, balsamic vinegar and a host of other spices. When he was tenderized, I put him in the oven for a gentle browning. I made a rice dish that calmly came to a boil in coconut milk and left over stew from the turkey. And what else did I make as I bore you with my details? Well, I boiled yam and buttered them lightly. And I made a soup with the neck of the turkey stewed slowly with potatoes, onions, brussel sprouts, “left over turkey stew” and carrots, in my cast iron pot. That was it! Oh, and we had a sweet peppers and celery salad that was light, fresh and delicious. And yea, I baked three little bread (with two secret ingredients) that were just off the charts delicious – hot and buttered (and that was dessert by the way because when we were done, no one could eat another morsel….) So I was good this year for Thanksgiving. But still, in spite of my best intentions, I came away from the table stuffed up like a goose. Girrlll, I felt fat?!. Obese actually. Corpulent as a pig and I wondered how in the world I could lose 10 pounds (all gained at Thanksgiving) by Christmas. Hence, this post.
By the way, I hear divorce can be the ultimate diet for some people. Last year, I did a post called the divorce diet which amused me, but didn’t seem to amuse anyone else. Because people don’t have time for nonsense. I understand that. Still, I would be remiss in not pointing out that at least half of people going through divorce, and maybe a lot more than that, experience weight loss.
It makes complete sense because divorce can be very stressful. The last thing folks have time for, or the inclination to do, is pig out. Oh, some people do pig out and gain weight. But they are not the majority of people going through a divorce. The majority of people truly become a shell of themselves without even trying. They stop eating. Their metabolism goes out of whack. It’s bad. But it’s great at the same time. I almost wish I could have that problem right now as I feel the girth of my gut straining against my jeans. Yuck. I hate this feeling. Maybe I need to get a divorce. Oh but wait. I’m not married. Well, I guess I could always divorce myself from this blog. That’s it, Divorce Saloon. I want a divorce. I want a divorce so I can lose weight. I want a divorce so I can rid myself of this Thanksgiving gut I just grew. I want a divorce so I can stop eating cause I’m a glutton. I want a divorce so I can stop blogging my life away because frankly Divorce Saloon, you have begun to monopolize my life and my time and I’m tired!!!
Now. Let’s wait and see how my divorce diet goes…..
Oh, and in the meantime, Happy Thanksgiving to you, dear reader! God bless you even more each passing day (don’t forget to thank him!!!). And keep visiting with us. We love it when you stop by.  Luv, Divorce Saloon staff. And stay skinny!  🙂
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