How to throw a divorce party……like those Brits

cigarettes HOW TO THROW A DIVORCE PARTY British people are major trend-setters. They are the ones who started throwing divorce parties and having divorce fairs and stuff like that and now everybody is doing it. From what I hear, they are still the masters and mistresses of the ultimate divorce party. So we begun to wonder what a British divorce party looks like and sounds like and feels like. What did we do? Google of course. We Googled, “divorce party London” and this is what we can tell you: Divorce parties are pretty much morphing to look the same in every city in the world at this point. So we culled ideas from the various sites and here is what we could recommend:
1. First of all, get the divorce party bible which was written by Christine Gallagher . From what I hear, it gives you every detail you need to know. Get it at the library or better yet, buy yourself a copy.
Also, read the novel, The Divorce Party by Laura Dave
2. Invite a ton of single men, other divorced women and maybe an author of a book about surviving divorce who can read an excerpt and maybe sell a few copies (well, maybe the last part is a bit cheesy.)
3. Have someone else plan the party so you will have time to schmooze and be a sort of guest rather than have the stress of entertaining these people and make sure it is in a fun location like Ibiza (Like Brit, Katie Price)
4. Create a bonfire. There are bound to be one or two items you want to burn like the dress or his necktie from the big day, or pictures of the honeymoon, or whatever. (disclaimer: this should be in a controlled, external environment like the beach or something. It should not be in your apartment. Also, get official permission from any governmental or ad administrative agency if needed. Please bonfire with caution and responsibility.)
5. Give yourself license to vent the way you want. Cry, laugh, scream, dance on tables, go topless, whatever. It’s your party. (Don’t allow any video cameras or cell phone cameras if you have a professional job)
6. Don’t forget to show appreciation to all the people who stood by you during the tough time.
7. Give out “just divorced” business cards so that folks know you are available for a new mate.
8. Make sure it is cathartic, don’t hold in or back. The point of it is to mark the end of the “nightmare.”
9. Have fun treats planned for guests, like manicures, massages, exotic dancers, entertaining animals, fabulous drinks, tongue in cheek tee shirts, sex toys, porn? (sorry if ungallant but Internet search for divorce parties suggest folks consider these things “fun” for the event)
10. Don’t forget the balloons and the confetti and the strippers.
Boy. Well, maybe you can just take off for a Zen holiday solo to some amazing city in Asia where you can reflect without all the “noise” and smoke – which may be ghastly and gross to you if you don’t smoke yourself.
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