DIVORCE HOROSCOPES, 2009

Sagittarius (November 23 to December 22)
Your divorce proceedings have been going badly. It looked like you would be the “loser” for a while now and that the judge and everybody has conspired against you. But wait. Something unexpected will happen in January 2010 that completely turns the tides in your favor. In the meantime, just enjoy the holidays and try to put the worry out of your mind. Everything will work out for you in a way you cannot even begin to fathom.
 
Capricorn (December 22 to January 19)
If we had to select one word that describes your state of mind right now, it’s “fear.” And you haven’t even started the divorce proceedings. You know it’s the right thing to do, but you are so afraid of what everyone will say, what they will think and what will happen once you proceed with the process. You know full well that there is no other choice. But we recommend a moratorium till the beginning of the New Year. For the holidays, why don’t you fly across country to visit with the family you pretty much abandoned when you got married? They will bring you comfort, joy and cheer.
Aquarius (January 21 to February 19)
Your friends want the best for you. They really do. It’s not jealousy that makes them advise you to end your marriage. It’s genuine concern for the physical and/or psychological abuse you have been suffering. Yes, it’s okay to try marriage counseling one last time. We are not going to say no. But in the end, you know in your heart that just because the love you are in at the moment “hurts” doesn’t make it any more “deep” or “real.” Frankly, love should not hurt….try to have a happy holidays.
Pisces (February 20 to March 20)
You have met the love of your life even though you thought you were happily married. This is the last thing you thought could ever happen to you of all people. Of course an affair is beneath your dignity and moral codes. What should you do? It’s a dilemma. The only advise for you is “act slowly.”  Your judgment may be compromised from all the holiday festivities and booze.
Aries (March 21 to April 20)
Be grateful at least that you have a roof over your head and food to eat still, after all that has happened. You may have recently experienced a death or a health crisis in the family that adds to all the other turmoil in your marriage.   This too will pass. In the meantime, volunteer in a hospital, infirmary or orphanage. You will see people who are suffering more than you. And don’t give up yet on your marriage. You may still have one more ace to play.
Taurus (April 21 to May 21)
Happy, Happy, Happy. That is you. Well, maybe the right word is deluded, deluded, deluded. Or ignorant, ignorant, ignorant. You have no idea what the true state of your relationship is and what is really going on beneath the surface. You are just blissful and we want you to stay that way. For now. Change commeth in the morning. It will be a good change. But it won’t be painless. Once the dust settles, you will truly be happy. But you will define happiness in a whole new way.
Gemini (May 22 to June 21)
Recent mistakes your spouse made are forgivable and you should not be so hardhearted and judgmental. You are not perfect and you must guard against holding your partner to such an impossible standard. It can be very destructive to relationships and marriages when you are so rigid and holier than thou.
Cancer (June 22 to July 22)
You’re spouse is cheating on you. But it is only an emotional affair at this point. The person with whom your spouse is fascinated is someone close to you whom you love and respect very much. You will see this person quite a bit over the holidays and it will come as a big shock to you that this could be going on. But it is. Look around you. It will be the person closest to you, whom you trust that is in love with your spouse and your spouse with that person. Consider canceling any holiday parties since that is a prime place for the two of them to  meet up and conduct a clandestine meeting.
Leo (July 23 to August 21)
Your children are the central force of your marriage and without them, you pretty much may find that your marriage is on shakier ground than you expected. Whether these are biological children or step children, you are well advised to keep them in the picture at all costs. And make them feel happy, wanted and loved. Start by bringing home some thoughtful holiday gifts.
Virgo (August 22 to September 23)
Cheer up. It’s Christmas! You haven’t even bothered to decorate the house and put up a tree. You are so down in the dumps and miserable thinking about all the money problems and other woes of your marriage. Forget the woes. Buy some champagne even if with your last $20 dollars and celebrate the fact that you have each other. A lot of people may have more money, bu they don’t have half of what the two of you have. Don’t take it for granted.
Libra (September 24 to October 23)
Fights this Christmas could turn vicious and deal-breaking. Be careful. If you can opt out of family gatherings, do that to try to save your relationship. If you can, try to get away the two of you for the holidays. Try to rediscover what it was you loved about this person.
Scorpio (October 24 to November 22)
Sex is not the only thing that is in short supply in your marriage at the moment. Intimacy is. There is something that is blocking real intimacy in your marriage and you might want to explore it with a professional. If not, right after the holidays you may be hearing a dreaded word: DIVORCE. And we know that is the last thing you want to hear. So get the help you both need now.