FLORIDA: Seriously, can Tiger Woods save his marriage?

tiger woodsfIt may seem like a foregone conclusion that Tiger and his wife Elin are getting divorced, but based on his blog post on his website www.tigerwoods.com, maybe we are jumping the gun a bit. Tiger talks about his “infidelity” and the hurt he has caused many people. He says he’s “taking an indefinite leave from professional golf.” And he also said he’s trying to focus on being a “better husband and father.”
Obviously, we are not marriage counselors over here but we would like to think, as lay persons and people who’ve observed married couples a bit that it is never too late if both parties want to work on the relationship. So in other words, it can’t just be Tiger working on being a better husband. Both he and Elin have to commit to having a better relationship and a better marriage. They both need to be better spouses – he definitely needs to be a better husband but maybe she also needs to be a better wife. These things take two.
They need to rebuild trust and intimacy and that will obviously take time. The magnitude of Tiger’s transgressions is still unknown but we are feeling the reverberating effects of it everyday like aftershocks after a massive earthquake. This shake up was bad. And to think it all started when he ran his car into a tree! How can they rebuild this trust and intimacy assuming they ever had it in the first place? Tiger will have to be genuinely sorry and promise and mean he will never cheat again. There will have to be zero tolerance for any falls off the wagon. Elin will have to be willing to truly forgive and forget. The problem of course is that how can she ever forget this? This is unforgettable and maybe from the get go this is a sisyphean task and she won’t be able to pull it off. But it is worth a try. Surely at least some of the women who claimed relationships with her husband are lying. Others are telling the truth of course. But maybe he’s not as big a dog as he seems. Some of them are prevaricating a bit. She has to separate the issues and the women. Well, maybe not. Maybe she needs to lump them all into one pile and toss the whole lot of them into the trash receptacle. She needs to think of the pile as yesterday’s garbage which is totally disposable. It might help rather than taking each woman individually. It’s too much.
Tiger and Elin need to rediscover each other as if they are just starting to date each other and fall in love. They need romance back in the marriage. Not to say they didn’t have any, but if Tiger found the time to get into this much mischief, then he clearly had too much free time. So those two need to step up their alone time as a couple and get busy.
Money should not be dangled around like a carrot. Everybody knows Tiger has a lot of money but money does not build and sustain real intimacy in a relationship; and/or trust. Money is a medium, a currency and it has its uses and purposes. But if money is the primary selling point for staying together, then this marriage has pretty much self-combusted. Tiger should not use the money to ingratiate himself into Elin’s good graces. He should not use it as a substitute for real intimacy and respect, time and devotion. Elin should not view Tiger as a bank vault either that she can stick around as long as possible to get as much as possible. Neither of these two people are stupid and they will see through the other and even though they never admit it, this will eat away at the relationship like cancer.
Both their extended families must step up and help Tiger and Elin if this thing is going to work out. Tiger’s mother and half siblings and Elin’s siblings and parents need to be a part of the team and intervention to help the two of them. It can’t just be judgmental in the sense of saying that Tiger has a sex addiction or whatever. In a marriage, usually two people are culpable. Is Elin sufficiently warm and caring towards Tiger when the cameras are not rolling, for instance? Does she make him feel inadequate? Does he know for certain that if he lost every dime tomorrow that she would still be by his side?
If nothing else, the Woodses could try to make a go of it for the kids sakes. Children can definitely keep a marriage together. They can also tear it apart. And they should not use the children as pawns. Tiger and Elin as a couple have a totally separate responsibility to each other that has nothing to do with the kids. In other words, if all they have that cement them is the kids, in the long run it may not be enough.
But taken as a totality, it can be argued that the Woods probably do have enough to work with here. They should give it a shot. They should probably also do themselves a favor by getting away from the scene of the crime, taking a few months in seclusion, in another country, perhaps, where the media can’t get to them.
We wish them luck. 🙂 (check out our youtube videos on the Woods situation – these are singularly the worse videos on youtube, we know….) www.youtube.com/divorcesaloon.
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