15 cool post-divorce pleasures

15 COOL POST-DIVORCE PLEASURES
Divorce may be depressing. But when the dust clears, there may be some pleasures worth celebrating. Here are fifteen off the top of my head:
1) You can eat whatever you want for dinner and you don’t have to worry about cooking for someone else who may not think that plain couscous is  a meal.
2) You can do whatever you want (it’s called freedom) especially if there are no kids involved – whatever that means including having an occasional cigarette, traveling, quitting your job to become an actor, whatever.
3) You can take a few days in between baths and let your hygiene go for a little while without “offending.”
4) You don’t have to  deal with somebody snoring in your ears all night long and taking up your half of the bed. You can spread out and really enjoy the mattress in a very unexpected way.
5) You can stop obsessing about the fact that parts of your anatomy are aging.
6) You can stay out really late without having to answer to anybody.
7) You can go back to school for an advanced degree and not worry that if the marriage doesn’t work out you’ll have to give half of your earnings to someone you don’t love anymore.
8) You can put an end to misery of a relationship that has died and embrace a newfound joy and the endless possibilities that exist.
9) You can relish the fact that there is no one there to criticize your every flaw.
10) You can be celibate if you want; or you can not be celibate if you don’t want.
11) You can re-establish contact with long lost friends who hated your spouse or whom your spouse hated.
12) You can downsize to a smaller, greener more environmentally friendly place to live.
13) You can get your identity back and start using your maiden name, happily.
14) You can go out with the after-work crowd for cosmos more often.
15) You can finally get a pet if your spouse was allergic – or you can let your spouse take the pet if you are allergic.
See? Fifteen good little pleasures for the newly divorced. And you thought divorce was all bad and sad.
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