Is it just me or is there an increasing trend of violence that stems from divorce around the world? I am talking all over the United States, in Europe, Africa and all the other continents. On this divorce blog this week, more than 80% of the stories we covered from mainstream media around the world involved some sort of divorce related violence that resulted in someone being killed.
But there doesn’t seem to be an increasing urgency to stem these murders and killings. People continue to go about their business as usual and life goes on. I would not have even been aware of this trend if I hadn’t been doing this blog and if I did not regularly troll the Internet for divorce related news. Maybe it’s not so much that there is an increase in divorce related killings and violence but that we’ve become more adept at fleshing out these stories?
I doubt it. I think there is definitely increased violence. Usually the perpertrators are the husbands and the victims are the wives. It doesn’t matter the walk of life, the profession. We have the Drew Peterson story involving a cop; we have the Kari Baker story involving a preacher; we have the Texan millionaire in London whose estranged wife was murdered right outside her affluent home. Then in White Plains this jeweller is accused of “incinerating” his wife. This is all in the last month!
But just this week we saw some different stories that involved other perps other than the husband killing the wife. One in Florida where the wife was suspected to murdering her husband and then she inherited his $10 million fortune; one in Utah where the mother in law allegedly killed the daughter in law; one involving socialite Betty Broderick who had murdered her husband and his new wife (she was trying to get out of jail.) We had another divorced socialite who killed her son in a fancy Manhattan hotel…..then we had this guy down in South Carolina was it? Who shot and killed the divorce lawyer of his estranged wife.
What is going on? And it’s not just the last month. As I said, I’ve done too many stories on Divorce Saloon that involve a divorce related killing. From South Africa to Miami; New York to Mexico, London to Dubai. It is a pandemic! Why aren’t folks paying attention? Divorce killings are the new drunk driving epidemic. It is the new hate crime. It’s a HATE CRIME. It is no different from going out there and murdering someone for their race, gender or sexual orientation. I’m serious. This is a big, big problem that is getting bigger by the day. Folks need to start paying attention and start taking this thing seriously. It is not okay. It is not morally excusable just because the killings are between former spouses. Violence is violence if it happens in the home just as if it happens on the streets.
Divorce killings are not excusable. Repeat: divorce killings are not excusable. In fact, I think there is a heightened sense of reprehensibleness about it because you are killing someone you once professed to love! You are killing the parent of your children! And a lot of times, this killing is about money. It’s about the fact that one party does not want to share the marital assets with the other party. It is usually that. MONEY. It has to do with the fact that people are greedy and angry and they don’t want to share; they would rather kill the other person and turn the gun on themselves rather than “equitably” share the marital assets. And I put equitable in quotes because for some folks, nothing is equitable. If the spouse walks away with nothing that is what they see as equitable. Divorce seems to totally compromise people’s ability to reason and to be sane and to be fair with their ex.
Why is that?
What is going on?
What the bleep is going on?!
I think any married person, especially the wife needs to worry about this issue. This is getting out of hand. It has gotten out of hand. Divorce has become a huge risk to life and limb for a lot of women (and some men) all over the world.
There needs to be a global response to this. There really does. But here in this country, divorce killings should be classified as hate crimes. The only trouble is that these perps usually turn around and turn the guns on themselves. They kill themselves rather than stick around to face justice. This is inexcusable. It is totally inexcusable.
So what is the law to do?
And if the law can’t do anything, what can society do? There’s got to be warning signs for this menace. There’s got to be. And people need to be trained, from law enforcement (who often don’t take victims seriously when they say they have certain fears) to the clergy, to the courts, to the parties themselves in order to save lives.
I don’t mean to be alarmist. But as I said, I see this awful trend and I feel like people are pre-occupied and they are not seeing what I’m seeing. And this scares me. It really, really does.