[GSMITHBOOK] In the Good Karma Divorce, Judge Michele Lowrance makes the argument that by using the principles of Buddhism in your divorce, you create good karma for yourself which comes back to you in countless ways.
As a divorce judge (and former divorce lawyer) Judge Lowrance has certainly seen her share of toxic divorces and she doesn’t feel it has to be as combative as it is in some instances if parties follow certain “behavioral protocols.”
Judge Lowrance advocates creating a personal manifesto as a way to monitor not only one’s thoughts and feeling, but one’s action as one tries to get a handle on the “transformational pain” that accompanies divorce. She advocates creating lists that detail “rules of engagement” and that itemizes fears, and desired outcomes and alternative responses, so that one can “keep communication open” throughout the divorce process.
Anger is what Judge Lowrance feels is behind the protracted divorces we’ve all heard about and this is what she says on the issue of anger:
handling anger with your parachute…The parachute is the ability to reframe the present. Accept that facts but let the importance of your own process be the over-riding factor. Accept that impermanence, randomness, hypocrisy and betrayal are in the world. We’re are all vulnerable but we are not doomed.
In transitioning from anger to forgiveness, Judge Lowrance recommends finding one’s “neti neti” or who you are in your soul. And finding a way to feel compassionate towards your ex.
Judge Lowrance acknowledges her own personal experience with divorce has helped her to formulate many of her ideas about how to have a good Karma divorce. In the beginning of her book she admonishes, “Good karma divorce is not just an anesthetic; it is a cure.”
I would give this book 4 stars out of 5. The book is published by HarperCollins and is available in e-book format.
About Genevieve Smith: Genevieve Smith is a writer who lives in New York. Her most recent project is The Recession Made Me Eat it: How the bad economy forced me to live on $20 per week. Pick up your e-book copy only $5.00 at lulu.com