TITLE: Getting Past Your Breakup
AUTHOR: Susan J. Elliott, Esq.
PUBLISHER: Lifelong Books
PREMISE: You can get past a break up and turn it into the best thing that ever happened to you from the perspective of personal growth.
The author focuses on the concept of “self-care” post break up. She states “no one can love you more than you love yourself.” She talks about having date night with one-self as a means of self-exploration and self-reliance and healing.
But she does more and goes deeper into the psyche of the past relationship as a way to bridge healing into the future. She advocates taking a relationship inventory – to see the failed relationship in its truest light, not as a fantasy, but in its positive and negative light. She suggests writing letters to one’s ex (but not mailing these) to get all the toxins out and facilitate moving past it into the light. Says the author: “The inventories are integral to moving on, finishing your unfinished business and preparing for your next relationship.” On the inventory list, Ms. Elliott asks the reader to think back to the beginning of the past relationship and try to discern any “red flags” that were ignored and that might have saved the reader from the mistake of that failed relationship in the first place. I think this could be very useful for that person’s future. It is important to look at red flags and see them for what they are and not to romanticize them.
The author encourages setting boundaries going forward for the reader and others the reader will come into contact with after doing the work to heal him or herself following the breakup.
WEAKNESSES: I liked the book overall and there were many valuable tips. But there were some pretty mundane, trite ones too, like using self talk and affirmations, journaling, using visualization, writing gratitude lists, etc. These things probably do work but it just seems very Oprahesque, and it’s been said before so her book might have been better without this section. Although, sometimes people need to be reminded of the obvious so while I think the book would have been fine without all those hackneyed suggestions, another reader might feel differently.
SHOULD YOU GET IT? I found it helpful overall. It is not a perfect book but there are useful tips and I would give it 3 our of 4 stars and recommend it to Divorce Saloon readers.
Genevieve Smith is a writer and New Yorker. Her latest e-book is available at lulu.com http://www.lulu.com/content/8378081. If you have written a book and would like us to review it please use our contact us page for details.