In defense of Vienna Girardi: An Open letter to Jake Pavelka's ex

Dear Vienna
Don’t feel badly about how things ended with Jake. You are a good person, a normal woman who wanted what every woman wants -a man who loves and respects her. You thought that was what you got, and I did too. You should know that yours was the first season of the Bachelor I ever watched, and I rooted for you even though all the other contestants hated you. They hated you because they could sense he would pick you and they were jealous. I rooted for you because you were interesting, attractive, fun, and clearly in love with Jake Pavelka. Both you and I thought he was in love with you. We were both wrong.
What you almost married was a narcissist. He is an ego-maniac and he is cold. He cares only about himself and to a very stunning degree, he disdains women, he doesn’t really respect women. He sees women more as objects rather than living creatures with a mind, opinion and moods of their own. He wants a robot who shuts up on command, cater to his needs and does what he says. He doesn’t truly want a partner and wife. That is the impression I got when I saw the interview on youtube.
Vienna, I felt really badly for you. But I was happy for you too, that you got out of that relationship before it was too late. A man with that kind of temper can be a danger to a woman’s safety. Notwithstanding his handsome good looks, a man with a temper is a danger to a woman. If he has such little respect for you after only six months of dating, I am terrified to think what he would do after 3 years, or 13 years or even 30. It would not have lasted that long, really. But you get the picture. I wouldn’t be surprised if a slap or worse happened over time. I saw that in him during that interview with the Bachelorette producers. He came off like the type who could so lose his temper, that he resorts to hitting a woman.
You are a good person, Vienna. Everyone who has a heart can see that. Anyone who isn’t consumed with jealousy can see that. You really fell for this guy and there is no crime in that. But you shouldn’t have to lose your self-respect and your self-esteem just to keep something going that is not working. You have a right to find happiness. You have a right to find love. And you will. If I were you, however, I would not go looking on reality shows like the Bachelorette. That is just a publicity stunt more than anything. It is for people trying to get famous not for people genuinely trying to find love and lasting happiness. I would not go near that show again, no matter how much they are paying, if true love is really what you are after.
Sure, it’s okay to cry now. Get it out of your system. It only makes you look more human and Jake looked exactly what he is: unfeeling, insensitive, uncaring and insincere. I am personally disappointed in him because I thought he was one of the good guys. But he has two faces. He fooled us both.
Next time, don’t get fooled by a pretty face and smile. Go for a guy of substance. Go for an authentic guy.
Best regards,
Your friends at Divorce Saloon