Tiger Woods preps for St. Andrews showdown: but are his marital woes too much of a distraction for him to win?

Agh! I”m¬†lounging by the pool in my bikini, fat as lard, with a glass of Zinfandel, and I just read that Tiger is practicing for a tee off on Thursday at St. Andrews – his favorite course.¬† Poor Tiger. Elin is rumored to be prepping to take the kids to Sweden once the divorce gets finalized (we still don’t believe the rumors) and he can’t win a tournament to save his life! Since admitting marital infidelity and going through a self-imposed cleansing at rehab, Tiger seems to have totally lost his golf mojo and for the life of me, I don’t know what he can do to get it back. Maybe the affairs were good for his swing after all.
Oh vey!
Elin, do something for this man. Take him back. Don’t divorce him. Allow him to have his little trollops. Maybe then he can stop being such a loser and win some tournaments.
I know. That was mean. It’s the Zinfandel.