Does your teen blame herself for your divorce? 5 Tips for helping her get over that

With the news of Rudy Giuliani’s daughter’s arrest for alleged shop-lifting still so fresh on the mind, I thought of this post geared towards parents with teens. As we all know by now, teens probably take their parents’ divorce harder than any other age group. A lot of times, they act out horribly and parents are at their wits end of what to do. But other times, they may sort of hide their true feelings, or even cover their feelings under the pretense that everything is fine. Still other times, kids can go into an emotional tailspin, blaming themselves for the marital implosion. What can a parent or other adult do?
Well, for one thing, tell the youngster every chance you get that it is not his or her fault. Kids need to know and hear that this is not about them.
It is also important to show the youngster that even though a divorce has happened between the adults, the adults are “ok” with it and do not wish to kill themselves and each other just because the marriage failed.
Get the youngster help whether it’s at school through the guidance office; at church through the clergy or even a child therapist and counselor. It is good for the youngster to have a third party to talk to.
Encourage the youngster to keep up with usual activities such as sports, music or whatever he or she is interested in. Too much time moping around the house and thinking about things can only lead to bad places, like shop-lifting, drugs, pregnancy, etc.–¬†for the teen. Keep ’em busy.
Finally, get your own self in order. If you are not walking about moping and carrying on, the kid will know that the world is not ending and so there will be nothing for him or her to blame themselves for.