NEW JERSEY: How to get a quickie Jersey Shore divorce

When Snooki got arrested for, I guess, disorderly conduct last month, nobody within a thousand mile radius of the Jersey Shore batted an eye-lash. It was business as usual for New Jerseyans and for fans of MTV’s break out hit, Jersey Shore.
BTW, have you seen the show? If you’re even half-way cool you’ve seen the show. I haven’t seen the show. Yea. I know. I’m not cool. Hey, look, been there done that, Ok? Years ago my friend ****** and I used to drive out to Seaside Heights to check out the scene, hang out, and see what’s happening. It was fun. If you like that kind of thing. My friend definitely liked it. She would drink like a fish and then when she was done, I’d actually let that girl drive me to Brooklyn in her black Camaro (I didn’t have a driver’s license and was totally at her mercy) based on her word that she was “totally not drunk.” But even back then, and we we are going back nearly 2 decades (when I was the same age as Snooki … omg I’m getting old!), I was too old for that shit. You know what I mean? I was always too old for the Jersey Shore.
But. Having said that. I do know of the show (I’m not living under a rock after all), and I know a couple of names like “Snooki” and “The Situation.”
Got me to thinking about the topic of divorce in New Jersey, which I don’t think we’ve tackled in depth on this show blog. 
Well, first of all, are any of these Jersey Shore kids the product of divorced parents? Does anybody know?  I would be surprised since Italians as a group tend to stay married to the same person for life. I don’t mean to generalize. But Italians tend to have low divorce rates. Especially those of Snooki and the Situation’s parents’ generation.  It’s a cultural thing that goes back to the old country. Italy today still has one of the lowest divorce rates in the world…No, seriously. They do.
But to digress a bit, what is the low down about getting a quickie divorce on the Jersey Shore? Well, if you compare it to New York, it is probably easier and quicker to get divorced than in New Jersey than it is in New York because New Jersey is a no fault state. You can get a unilateral divorce there without all the headaches of “proving grounds” the way you do in New York.
So long as a person has resided in New Jersey for at least a year, they can get a divorce in New Jersey. And for a quickie one, as I said, (or maybe I didn’t) they should go with “irreconcilable differences.”
There are a bunch of different grounds, of course. Like “institutionalization” and “deviant sexual conduct.” As to the latter, wonder what that means, exactly? What is considered “deviant sexual conduct”? Is this a question we should ask Snooki and her cronies on Jersey Shore? What exactly is meant by deviant sexual conduct for purposes of a divorce in New Jersey? I mean, I can think of a thing or two, but I’m a bit of a prude. In today’s world, I just don’t know what would fall under that umbrella since it’s so much of an “anything goes” world.
Oh, and there is something else about the procedure for getting a quickie divorce in New Jersey. Unless you know for sure that your spouse wants a divorce and will consent to the divorce (the ultimate quickie) when you commence an action for divorce in New Jersey, just as in New York, and you think it will be contested, you must provide a CIS statement to the court:

The Case Information Statements also known as a CIS is the most critical document in a divorce case. Rule 5:5-2 requires both parties to file and serve CIS’s in all contested family actions where there is any issue as to custody, support, alimony or equitable distribution. The primary purpose of the CIS is to identify all assets and liabilities (whether subject to division or not) of the party, like the income picture, shelter, transportation and personal expenses of that party. Each party must file their respective CIS within 20 days after the filing of the answer or appearance.
The parties’ tax returns, their last three pay stubs, their pension statements, and their mutual fund and stock statements should also be attached as exhibits to the CIS. The more comprehensively the CIS is prepared, the easier it will for the ESP Panel and the court to assist the parties to settle the case.

Well, so that’s all the info I have for you on this. Just use “irreconcilable differences” as your grounds and make sure you’ve been living there at least a year. Oh, and of course, keep the lawyers out of it if you can and get your spouse to consent so that this thing does not become contested.
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