Old marriage vs new marriage…old divorce vs new divorce…what are the differences?

You’ve heard the expression “old money” or “old media.” Now I’ve coined the phrases “old marriage” and “old divorce.” I suspect that one or both of these terms will become common place in a few years as soon as the Supreme Court of the United States rules that it is unconstitutional to prevent same-sex couples from getting a civil marriage.  As soon as that happens, watch how people will start to use the term “old marriage” as a sort of homage to the time when the definition of marriage was this narrow, sort of, um, bigoted thing; and the same with “old divorce.”  Both will go the way of net neutrality (If Google and Verizon have their way, that is.) 
New marriage and new divorce will be all inclusive, broader and sort of, “superior” to anything the world has ever seen. If you are “smart” and “educated” you will want to follow the new marriage, new divorce modalities. These terms and everything they stand for will be totally accepted and embraced especially by Millenials and younger generations who will want to be considered “hip” and “cool” and “relevant” and “current” and would rather perish than be considered “racist” or “bigoted” or “narrow-minded” or “discriminating” or “old school.”
But then again, maybe not. Maybe the Supreme Court won’t even grant certiorari to that California Prop 8 situation. Maybe new marriage and new divorce are much further away than one would think…Still, the day will definitely come. And I think we can thank the Internet and technology for that. And Google too. We can all thank Google and gay people.
Let’s face it: the old marriage model is obsolete and archaic and in this new world we are entering, in this Age of Technology, it just will no longer work. For example, this idea that a marriage is only successful if parties stay together till death do us part, for richer or for poorer, etc, etc, is totally old marriage and it is already out the window as we can witness by the skyrocketing divorce rates. In the New Marriage Era, a successful marriage is one that lasts at least 5 years. Cause that’s just how the new generation of spouses roll. Marriages are as expendable as jobs which are as expendable as that new H& M outfit, which is as expendable as the next version of Microsoft, which is as expendable as how quickly can this thing be replaced.
Many related marriage statutes are similarly outdated and will not work in new marriage new divorce; these statutes will have to be stricken from the books and if they are not, they certainly won’t be enforced. In states like North Carolina, for example, the “alienation of affection” statute is very “old marriage, old divorce.” I mean, blaming a third party because your marriage imploded? Excuse me, but what is that? These types of statutes will go the way of the ban on gay marriage. They will be anachronisms. And gay marriage will be the reason. Gay men are not going to sit back and take the rap for breaking up another man’s marriage, for example. Society will be forced to put the blame for that “breaking of vow” on the party in the marriage where it rightfully belongs. Third party interlopers in these new marriage schemes will be like, “that is so old marriage!”
Moreover, the very notion of fault has already been abolished by all states except for New York and that may change by midnight August 14, 2010. You will find as new marriage, new divorce takes hold, this will impact how parties (including third parties) view fault based divorces. Soon, there will be only one basis for divorce in all states. That will be “irreconcilable differences.” Third parties will start to argue that they should not be held accountable and are not at fault for the marriage breaking down, since neither party in the marriage is at fault.
Gay marriage will totally redefine what marriage is in the entire world, certainly here in the United States. It will widen the definition of marriage and stretch it further than anyone can imagine. For example, it will open up the door to polygamy. It is a matter of time before polygamists stand up and demand their constitutional right to be let alone to marry whom they want. They will point to the fact that a marriage of two is very arbitrary. Who says that a marriage of 3 can’t work just as well? Or a marriage of 8 for that matter? Don’t they likewise have a constitutional right to equal protection of the laws? What makes them intrinsically wrong, or abnormal or evil? The very notion that only two people can be married at a time is antediluvian. It is very old marriage. It is going to go the way of the dinosaurs. In the new marriage scheme, anybody who wants to get married can get married so long as it doesn’t involve minors and other void schemes such as incest, etc.
But just as new marriage will be broader in scope than old marriage, it probably will also be diluted in a way. Marriage won’t have the same meaning. Old marriage was very much about procreation, child rearing and “sanctity.” That, by definition, will change. New marriage will be more of a domestic partnership/strategic partnership model where procreation and child-rearing both for gays and heterosexuals alike will be an afterthought rather than the driving impetus….
As far as things like custody and visitation, the very definition of both will change with new marriage new divorce. Just last week a New York judge ordered visitation by skype, for example. That story was picked up in England and around the country because it’s so novel. But that stuff will be the norm as new divorce takes root. It will very much be the non-visitation visitation model. Even twitter visitation will be ordered. Or facebook visitation. As for support, how will that look with new marriage new divorce? I don’t know yet. Folks will probably get better at hiding their assets. So children will be less protected than they are now. DNA fraud will become commonplace and folks will use DNA fraud to get out of paying support as well.
Yea. This is what it’s going to be….
As I think of more points I will update this post because I can feel that I’m on to something….
Remember: you heard it here FIRST. Old marriage vs. New Marriage Old divorce vs new divorce….
Last updated August 14, 2010
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