Is divorce a zero sum game?

As far as divorce questions go, this one is rhetorical. But one that I’m sure many divorcing couples have pondered at one time or another: Are there any winners in a divorce? Or are there only losers? Or are there no winners or losers? Is divorce a zero sum game? I think it is. I think that with divorce, the winners and the losers are equivalent. Wins equal losses and losses equal wins for all the players. Take Elin Nordegren and Tiger Woods. One would be tempted to say she “won” because she came away with millions and millions of dollars, plus prime Florida real estate and custody of her children. But she herself said in her interview with People Magazine that all the money in the world can’t bring her family back together. So that is a win, but it is also a loss.
Listen to our podcasts on feedburner or at brought to you by our in house counsel admitted to practice law in New York and Georgia
As for Tiger, he seems like the loser. Because of his bad behavior, his marriage has ended in his wife filing for divorce and his family disintegrating. He has lost his family. But not really. Post-divorce, he has generous co-parenting time with his children. His ex-wife lives a mile away so that relationship will continue. And now, he is free to be who he is. Because while married, he was living a lie. He was pretending. He as pretending to be in love with his wife. He was pretending to be a happily married man. He himself has said he now knows a lot more about himself after the experience over the last nine months. Self-discovery is priceless. You cannot put a price tag on that. So he may have “lost” a lot of money in the payout to his wife, but he’s gained self-discovery and self awareness.
They are just one example. Every marriage is different. Every relationship is different. But the result of divorce, when you do the math, will be the same for everyone. No winners, no losers. Just a zero sum game where wins equal losses and losses equal wins. What do you think of my ingenious observation? It is time to enroll in a PHd program at Yale?
So what is your answer to this divorce question?
Image credit