TIGER WOODS: Divorce, bad golf….Want to know how to get a divorce in the Year of the Tiger (2010)

HOW TO GET A DIVORCE IN THE YEAR OF THE TIGER (plus, Gwyneth Paltrow’s Valentine’s day recipes)
I was just reading this week’s Goop by Gwyneth Paltrow (I love Goop! I love Gwyneth!) and learned that starting February 14, 2010, Valentine’s Day, is the start of the Chinese Year of the Tiger. (And you thought I was referring to Tiger Woods. ha ha.)
Anyways, it was totally apropos, this week’s Goop, because I am having a crouching Tiger day, sitting here listening to  a sonata (composer?) with violin and piano on WKCR FM with my face covered in a mud mask, trying to stay calm, peaceful and in total repose on a snowy-day-after-the-blizzard-of 2010 February day and I’m contemplating how to further pamper myself….
So Gwynnie just gave me the idea for this post: Divorce in the year of the Tiger. What will that look like, feel like and sound like? Oh, you crouching Tigers hidden dragons. I have no idea! Let me Google Year of the Tiger and see if I can baffle you with a little bit of my bullshit wisdom. 🙂 Oh, and by the way, check out Gwynnie’s Valentine’s day Goop 2009 for recipes. Go here.
Ok….Year of the Tiger….divorce…..let’s see…well, from what I’ve been reading, the Year of the Tiger is usually one of great change and upheaval. And that can mean chaos, destruction and annihilation if one is not careful. Leads me to think that maybe this is not an auspicious year to divorce. Maybe there are more congenial times in the future where negotiation and mediation will prevail.
As far as the “Tiger” personality: According to what I’ve been reading, there are two types of Tigers. There is the gentle, reposeful crouching tiger and then there is the off the wall, selfish and angry tiger with an ax to grind:

Tigers are physically powerful, gracious, independent and brave, they are extremely bold animals. They are friendly and loving but can also selfish and short tempered. Tigers seek attention and power; frequently they are envious in a relation. Tigers live dangerously which often leads to trouble. They are intolerant, take risks and are always searching for excitement. Tigers are also instilled with a good dose of courage.
The Tiger has an overpowering attraction and is very kind and always takes on the character as protector. The Tiger flourishes by power and attention and takes advantage of all circumstances it gets itself into. The Tiger is a natural leader and loves to be the centre of attention. As a rebel it goes up against authority and speaks out about wrongs in society, and willingly puts up objections. Even if you don’t agree with the beliefs of the tiger you admire his way to protest. (go here for more.)

Hme…what does that mean for someone getting divorced in 2010? I don’t know but if I had to guess, I would say that if your divorce is contested, it potentially could be ugly this year filled with “thunderous and unforeseen” events and circumstances. And that is going to mean it is quite costly too. (ugly divorces are usually more expensive than not). So you may want to weigh this fact in making a decision to end your marriage this year. Why not wait till next year, the Year of the…what is next year? Hang on….RABBIT? In looking up the Rabbit people and trying to predict divorce in a rabbit year, I observed the following:

People born in the Year of the Rabbit are articulate, talented, and ambitious. They are virtuous, reserved, and have excellent taste. Rabbit people are admired, trusted, and are often financially lucky. They are fond of gossip but are tactful and generally kind. Rabbit people seldom lose their temper. They are clever at business and being conscientious, never back out of a contract. They would make good gamblers for they have the uncanny gift of choosing the right thing. However, they seldom gamble, as they are conservative and wise. They are most compatible with those born in the years of the Sheep, Pig, and Dog. more

If I were you, I would wait till 2011 to get a divorce rather than risk it in a year like 2010 Year of the Tiger that is characterized by so much upheaval and unpredictability….But then again, you never know. It’s not as if there isn’t another side to the Tiger. Here is another description if the Tiger personality:

Tiger people are sensitive, given to deep thinking, capable of great sympathy. They can be extremely short-tempered, however. Other people have great respect for them, but sometimes tiger people come into conflict with older people or those in authority. sometimes Tiger people cannot make up their minds, which can result in a poor, hasty decision or a sound decision arrived at too late. They are suspicious of others, but they are courageous and powerful. Tigers are most compatible with Horses, Dragons, and Dog… go here for the full text.

Well, whatever. I’m enjoying the Cello Concerto No. 1 in E Flat Major, Opus 107, which, according to the dj was written by Dmitri Shostakovich (whoever he is) and I have to remove my mud mask from my face now. It’s been more than half an hour since I’ve put it on. But you get the hint, right? Year of the Tiger and divorce could be a bad mix. But maybe if you thread carefully and cautiously, maybe it can work out for you. Thanks to Gwyneth Paltrow for reminding us about the Year of the Tiger in her cool newsletter Goop. I think I’m going to try the winter bath she recommends.

P.S. Poor Tiger Woods. He got divorced in the Year of the Tiger. But it was not that bad. Still, his golf is still in the dog house. Wonder what he can do to get his golf game back? Hey, Tiger, my invitation still stands. I can totally be a great advisor for you and help you get your mojo back. I told you it was a mistake to start playing again, didn’t I? You should have waited till 2011.

Image from Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop.
Originally published February 14, 2010
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