Divorce, Remarriage, Divorce again: Are you the problem with your marriages?

So, your first marriage ended in divorce and you took our advice and you moved on, you started dating again, you fell in love and eventually, you re-married. But then that marriage also ends in divorce. Is it you? Or is it the other parties? Are you the problem with your marriages? Or is it always somebody else’s fault?

The serial wife

The stats for second marriages are not great. Second, third, fourth and beyond, these marriages have a much higher rate of divorce for some strange reason.
It could just be that you are a commitment-phobe. Fundamentally, it could be that you’re just marriage-averse. Whoopi Golberg (one of the yentas on the View – I really should google “yenta” to make sure it’s an okay word to use) but I’ve heard her say that she’s “not good at it” (meaning marriage.) And I think that is important to be able to do, to be able to say, “hey, I am just not good at this thing and I’m not going to keep doing it” or “hey, I’m not instinctively good at this, so there are some things I have to work on for myself before I get married again because I don’t want to have another divorce.”
Know thyself. To thine own self be true, in other words. First of all, it is important to identify how you contributed to your first divorce. What was the problem? Do you fundamentally have a problem with commitment? Fidelity? Stability? Are you hypersensitive? Impatient? Unforgiving? Are you easily bored? Are you “bad at picking ’em?”
There are so many issues that my neophyte mind can’t conceive that you need to evaluate before getting back into marriage after you have suffered a divorce. You have been married before and you know the statistics about subsequent marriages and so its incumbent on you to self-evaluate for marital fitness before you jump back in again. Otherwise, you’re just making divorce lawyers really rich. Which, I’m certain, you don’t want to do.
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