KEEPING UP WITH HUFFPOST DIVORCE: Divorce Doyenne Judith Wallerstein speaks out

As you can probably guess, it is not easy keeping up with the kardashians Huff-Post Divorce. Between that and the rest of my reading, writing and research, I’m not sleeping. But I wanted to discuss the interview that Katie Hafner had with the “Divorce Doyenne” Judith Wallerstein about a book by Wallerstein called The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: A 25 Year Landmark Study. The book was a New York Times best-seller and it discussed the findings in a study called California Children of Divorce – Ms. Wallerstein followed these divorce children for 25 years to see how they fared after their parents divorce. She makes a cogent argument for how divorce affects children, and in summary, this is what I think I heard her saying to Ms. Hafner:
a) Adolescent and young adults have a tougher time dealing with the divorce.
b) Kids are both angry and compassionate towards their divorcing parents.
c) Children of divorce have trouble in their own intimate relationships as a result of being children of divorce.
d) Children of divorce are suspicious of others – including their own intimate partners.
e) Children of divorce expect to be betrayed
f) Children of divorce have major trust issues.
g) Parents need to pay attention to the children’s needs during the divorce (and possibly after)
h) Children of divorce need to continue a healthy relationship with both parents, post-divorce.
These are very cogent points Ms. Wallerstein made in the interview, and I guess in her book. The only confusion is why she would title the book the “unexpected” legacy of divorce when the points she makes are all perfectly EXPECTED consequences when parents divorce. In other words, what is so “unexpected” about children having trust issues and feeling betrayed and being angry and having trouble in their own relationships? I ask this question with total reverence and respect. But I don’t understand why Ms. Wallerstein called it the unexpected legacy. To me, these consequences are a foregone conclusion and quite frankly, should be expected.
What do you think?