The Face of Divorce: 10 hilarious divorce quotes you need to hear (Inspired by HuffPost Divorce)

HuffPost Divorce has a section called “Divorce Aphorism” and it inspired me to dig around for some divorce quotes. Here are ten that made me chuckle:
1) The difference between divorce and legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money.” Johnny Carson
2) Christ and The Church: If he were to apply for a divorce on the grounds of cruelty, adultery and desertion, he would probably get one. Samuel Butler
3) “Ah, yes, divorce … from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.” Robin Williams
4) Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck.  If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left.”Jean Kerr
5) A divorce is like an amputation: you survive it, but there’s less of you. Margaret Atwood
6) A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, anymore than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table. Jean Kerr
7) A lot of people have asked me how short I am. Since my last divorce, I think I’m about $100,000 short.
Mickey Rooney
8) Just another of our many disagreements. He wants a no-fault divorce, whereas I would prefer to have the bastard crucified.”  J.B. Handlesman
9) Conrad Hilton was very generous to me in the divorce settlement. He gave me 5000 Gideon Bibles. Zsa Zsa Gabor
10) Anybody who’s been through a divorce will tell you that at one point. they’ve thought murder. The line between thinking murder and doing murder isn’t that major.  Oliver Stone