The Guidette's Guide to Divorcing her Guido husband: Snooki Polizzi take note!

Jersey Shore’s Snooki Polizzi is very proud to call herself a “Guidette.” Back in October, she did an Interview with OK Magazine:

The Jersey Shore’s beloved guidette Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi has a life plan. Snooki, 22, opened up to Extra about her plans for marriage and having some little guidos of her own. “I wanna be married by 26, 27… get pregnant right away and have like, you know, four guido/guidette babies,” she told Extra.

So what is Snooki looking for in a life partner?
“My ultimate guy would be hysterical, funny, makes me laugh, very family oriented, obviously tanned,” the pint-sized reality star shared. “He has to have muscles and just know how to have a good time.” more

I am not even sure what a “Guidette/Guido” actually means, so I use the term very cautiously as I am not fully convinced that non-Italians can use that word with impunity the way that Italians have license to do. It sort of is like the “N” word. People who are of African descent can use it and it means one thing; it’s an ownership of a horrible put down that defuses the put down for the person who bears the insult. But someone else uses the word, and it is just a put down that cannot be defused. Or take women. A woman can dump on herself and call herself a “fat pig” and that is a weird kind of self-deprecation that is admissible. But for another person to call the same woman a fat pig? These are fighting words. Know what I mean? So I use Guidette very cautiously….actually, pretend I didn’t even say the word at all……….

But I have noticed (and I’m about to utter a stereotype, omg!) that Italians on a whole are less prone to divorce than other similarly situated  groups. They are very “family oriented.” Notice what Snooki said she’s looking for? A man who is very “family oriented.” Maybe it has to do with residual Catholicism. Certainly in Italy, the divorce rate is climbing but very, very slowly, even though Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi and his glamorous wife Veronica Lario (she should have made our list of the 20 Most Glamorous Ex Wives and the Men Who Divorced Them shouldn’t she?)  makes it look quite the opposite. Nevertheless, the actual rate of divorce among Italians in Italy is very low compared to the U.S.

The fact is, it is harder and longer to obtain a divorce in Italy than in other parts of Europe and even here in the United States. That is not to say Italians don’t get divorced. They do. But I think they tolerate a lot more – especially the wives. They give the marriage a real go. Even those born in the U.S. Know what I mean?

Think about it: Another stereotype: the mobster wife. Look at what she endures!? It’s unbelievable what a mobster has to do to get his wife to finally divorce him, isn’t it?

There is still a lot of maschismo in a lot of Italian guys, based on what I see. There is a pronounced double standard in what they think they have license to do, and what the expect from their wives. On a whole, I’m speaking. There are always exceptions. I keep trying to make that clear. I am generalizing. I am speculating. Don’t quote me on this. Please!!!
I am all for honoring the vows of  “for better or for worse till death do us part” but even I believe that some marriages should end, sooner rather than later, and so I admire Italian women for giving their marriages all that they can possibly give it, before asking for that divorce (there are exceptions, of course, but for the most part I think they tough it out longer).
Ok. So, I digressed…….
So, about the Guidette. What is the Italian girl to do and what does she need to know when divorcing her guido Italian husband? Well, she should expect that if she will be the one asking for the divorce, first of all. Women are usually the ones to ask anyways and in the case of the Italian girl, she most definitely will be the one to ask becuase her Italian husband  is very unlikely to. She will probably have a fight on her hands if he actively practices Catholicism, and if he’s older, over 50, say. So she should brace herself for some drama. 
She should be surprised if he fights tooth and nail for her to pay him alimony. Most are going to have some pride with that and if they can afford it, they will pay. Not that he necessarily will gladly pay her alimony, but he is more likley to see that as his duty than some other ethnicities who are more inclined to have no problem being “house-husbands” Most self respecting Italian men would rather die than be that.
He will likely have no problem with the wife having primary custody (things are changing, but for the most part, an Italian man is likely to be okay with mom having custody because they tend to be traditional on this issue – and that’s kind of nice, isn’t it?).
If there is adultery, and there probably will be, it is the husband who more than likely is the transgressor. But not always. If the wife cheated on the husband? This could be a big problem. Don’t emasculate an Italian man by cheating on him. He just can’t compute that logically in his head…..and the consequences of this…..well, let’s not talk about it.
What else? Well, that’s it for now. If this post is offensive, blame it all on Snooki. She was the inspiration for it, 100%.