Why would a man like Douglas Kepanis demean himself by appearing on Millionaire Matchmaker? This guy has a fairly impressive CV. This guy is not just an esquire. He’s an LLM. You go to his website and his bio reads in part:
Douglas S. Kepanis, LL.M. was born in Queens and raised on Long Island. After graduating from Binghamton University with a BA in Political Sciences, he attended the California Western School of Law where he was Editor of the Law Review and International Law Journal, graduating cum laude with his Juris Doctorate. As he was always interested in world events, he studied International and Comparative Law at the Georgetown University Law Center where he obtained, with distinction, his LL.M. degree.
and then he appears on Millionaire Matchmaker? And makes himself look like a “the Situation” wannabe? Oh my god. Do you know what it takes to graduate from Georgetown University with an LLM with distinction? I mean….And this is not to knock the Millionaire Matchmaker. It’s great entertainment and doesn’t pretend to be anything else and I respect the show for what it is. The host is a regular on Huffpost Divorce and she is no-nonsense and blunt and keeps it very real. She even surprised me when she said she advocates 90 days of monogamy (yes, it was the first time I watched the show so I was really surprised) because it seemed such an “old fashion” value for a show like that. Don’t get me wrong. I am all over the 90 day rule. I concur. I am for it. But in my experience (and this may explain why I”m still single) guys out there expect you to strip down and get into the jacuzzi on the first date – which means that women out there have spoiled them. So I was really surprised she had this rule and it was really refreshing for a show like that and so, bravo for her…
That said, Doug Kepanis made himself look like jackass. First of all, this divorce attorney with an LLM in International and Comparative law from Georgetown Law Center opens the show by stripping down to the waist to show off his six pack. And, I mean, I am all over a man with a six pack, but what self-respecting woman would want to go near a man who makes a public spectacle of himself like that? He looked like the male equivalent of a floozie! It was embarrassing! And it didn’t even look like an effortless six pack. It looked….I don’t even know how to describe it…. It looked….you just wanted to say, “Mr. Kepanis, put your shirt back on.”
Then, the tattoos. Honestly, what was that? Is he a biker or an attorney? Those tattoos were just disgusting. And then he described himself as “a butt man” to the host (what the heck is that woman’s name? I’ve seen her on Hoda and Kathie Lee? I like her though. She’s not fake but what.is.her.name???) Well, Whatever. And he says things like “the boobs, the butt, it’s hard to look in one spot.”
Then, there was the sneer. He had this weird sneer as he spoke that, as a woman, was scary. The host of the show kept going on and on about how “creepy” this other dude was, but she never used those words to describe Kepanis. And he was acting really creepy. The things he said? After a while, I thought it was a joke, you know? I thought, “no, he can’t be a lawyer.” Until I Googled him and realized he really is a lawyer. But he is no gentleman. He is not husband material for any decent girl. He needs therapy first and a lot of years of practicum first. Are you kidding me? All that man talks about is sex. I have no problem with sex. But who the heck wants to be on a date with some guy who asks them stuff like, “how important is sex to you? Are you naughty? Are you shy? Are you verbal? Are you a dominatrix? Do you like sexting? ” I kid you not. These are questions this man was asking these women within minutes of meeting them.
And then he takes this girl to a steam room on the first date and tells her “clothing optional.” And afterwards, he makes her walk ahead of him so that he could get a good look at her posterior in her bikini. She seemed surprised he took her to a steam room and sauna on the first date. I was of course, gobsmacked. But then, after the show and I was ruminating on the whole sordid thing, I asked myself, “how come she had a bathing suit if she didn’t know she was going to be getting undressed?” The whole damn thing was creepy. IT WAS CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPY!!!!!!!!!!!
I swear, if I went on a date with a man and he asked me those things even on the 100th date, I’d run for my life. No, seriously. I’d think he was a potential rapist. I can’t believe that this guy was is a lawyer. And one with such an impressive resume. He is uncouth. He has no class. And frankly, I think doing this show was bad for his business. Especially for female clients. If I were a potential client and I saw this guy on this show behaving the way he was? There is no way I would go near him to even consult, never mind hire him as my divorce attorney. If this was a publicity stunt, then I think Mr. Kepanis made a very big error in judgment by doing this show. Or if he insisted on doing the show, then he should have conducted himself with more integrity and class and really used the show as a promotion for his business – which means he should have held himself out as very successful, dignified, decent, trustworthy and respectful of women and others in general. And how do I know it was disrespectful? Well, how would his mother, daughter or sister feel if some guy acted like this on the first date with them? How would he feel for them? He would be disgusted with the guys’ behavior and his women folk would feel “disrespected.” So he should not behave like that with other women.
But what do I know? He says he only makes $2,000,000 per year. I almost fell out of my chair when he said that. This guy is in Long Island. He’s not exactly on Park Avenue. And he makes two million dollars a year and has the audacity to say “I’m just starting out, that’s why” as if to suggest that he really should be making so much more? When you consider that the average uncontested divorce in New York is running even the best divorce lawyer less than $1,000 a pop, and then the contested ones, for the average non-celebrity lawyer is less than $50K, I really find it hard to believe this guy when he says he “only makes two million a year.” Something about that is not ringing true. But I’m not judging. Let’s take his word for it on that one.
Still. I think he made male divorce attorneys look bad. I can’t believe he’s really that creepy. I think he must have put it on for the show. But he shouldn’t have done that to himself and to the profession. It was very, very undignified. It was despicable actually. I’m sorry. But that’s how I feel about it. I have to be honest.