Yankees Pitcher A.J. Burnett to Divorce

Yankee Pitcher A.J. Burnett in divorce melee. Claims are swirling that there’s domestic abuse going on and the Yankees are coming to his assistance. Say it isn’t so?

The Yankees have invested over $85 million in Burnett, and the franchise says it will do everything in its power to help. Owners have already allocated a special fund to deal with the problem. Half of the proceeds, according to staff, will go to constructing a special muzzle and restraint system to keep Burnett’s wife from harming him physically. Restraining orders, criminal charges and home detention monitoring systems have also been mentioned. The other half of the money will go to sponsoring a physical therapy program similar to military basic training, where ball players work out, learn simple self-defense techniques, and, as one Yankees manager said, “man up and stop getting their butts kicked by girls.”
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