Wanna have a viral divorce?
It is easy to have a viral divorce if that is what you want. These days, if you want to air all your dirty laundry for everybody to see and read about, you totally can; you don’t have to have a quiet, discreet divorce if you want some drama. You can make noise. You can raise hell. You can humiliate your ex and get a lot of fans and new friends in the process. You might even get on TV and/or get a book deal depending on how you go about things.
For sure, you want to do a YOUTUBE video a la Trisha Walsh Smith. Google her if you don’t know who she is. Her divorce went viral after she broke out with a video on YOUTUBE. Make sure you script the video rather than do a fly by the seat of your pants thing…although, that might be more entertaining. Take if from me. Whatever route you take, rest assured you just can’t have a viral divorce without putting up some videos on YOUTUBE where you go for maximum exposure – air all the dirty details you possibly can. This is the ultimate way to make sure you go viral on the Internet. This, standing alone, can make you a star.
The other thing you can do is get on Twitter and do a play by play of all the dirty divorce details from the court appearances, to the reasons you want the divorce, to everything in between. Make sure you have a lot of followers so they can retweet your stuff. You need at least 5000 Twitter followers before you are even ready to consider yourself relevant on Twitter, I’m told.
Get on Facebook and do, not just an editorial depiction of what caused your marriage to implode, but provide pictorial evidence as well – drunkardness, nudity, domestic violence, adultery, the whole nine. Put all of it up on Facebook and make sure you don’t put up too many “controls” that would prevent anyone from seeing the good stuff. This will make you viral pretty quick.
Start a blog. Justine Musk started a blog to let everyone know what was going on with her divorce from Elon Musk (a multi-millionaire) and next thing you know, he took out an op ed in HuffPost to tell his side of the story. A blog is great because the more details you divulge, the more likely the other person will want to respond to tell his or her side. And you will build up a huge following before you know it. Next thing you know, you are getting book offers and fielding requests from the press to come on their show to air even more dirty laundry. Accept these invites and make sure to don’t hold anything back when you get on TV. You will go so viral, you’ll probably get a rash.
If you don’t want to start your own blog, then leave comments on other people’s blogs that include relevant information such as name, place, time and manner of anything you think is relevant to your divorce – whether mistresses, gay lovers, or whathaveyou. In short, name names. And choose popular blogs with a huge audience so that someone or a few people will digg your stuff or whatever the other ways they use to spread information on the Internet. It will be off the hook.
Do a wikileaks type dump of your divorce information or stuff about your ex which are embarrassing or “classified” on a special website designed solely for that purpose of leakage. This is really good if you know the other person broke the law, like tax laws or something and/or if they are known in society. You can just wikileak them (but make sure you have a right to this information because it could raise privacy issues that can land your ass in jail)
Ok. This post was obviously meant to be totally sarcastic. We expect that reasonable people will refrain from doing any of the above as the outcome can only bring shame not just to the victim, but also to the perp who most likely will be outed. Divorce doesn’t have to be vicious. And it most certainly doesn’t have to go viral if you don’t want it to, unless you take some of the steps outlined above.
Wanna have a viral divorce?