Camille Grammer divorce diary: My divorce settlement wish list

The Fictitious divorce diary of Camille Grammer
Dear Diary,

It’s me. Camille. Camille Grammer. I’m moving on now. I don’t care anymore. I’m not in love with Kelsey anymore. He’s a toad, a real bastard and he humiliated me and turned America against me. Now all I want is my divorce settlement to be finalized so I can forget this marriage ever happened. Here’s my wish list:

Sole custody of my children
200K per month child support
A 50% share of Kelsey’s actor’s guild pension
$40 million in cash
The Beverly Hills house free and clear
The house in the Hamptons
The house in Hawai free and clear
2 cars
75% share of the production company (I formed it, after all)
A public apology from Kelsey
50% of any futre projects Kelsey gets that are directly traceable to work he did during our marriage
A fund set up to pay all the nannies for the children’s entire childhood

If Kelsey gives me these things, I will go my merry way rejoincing and he can have his trollop. That is a fair divorce settlement as far as I’m concerned.¬† Wait. I need to call the lawyer again. I just thought of something…….