Divorce Diary of Camille Grammer: Will that woman Kayte Walsh be the next Beverly Hills Housewife?

A fictitious divorce diary of Camille Donatucci Grammer:

Dear Deary,Diary,
I just got the most obscene thought. What if, after I quite Housewives, Kelsey and the producers get that woman to take my place? Yes, I’ll say her name, Kayte. Katye Walsh. The homewrecker. What if they hire her to take my place? And she and Kyle and the other girls got along? What if they did that to me? What if he gets the house in Beverly Hills and have that woman take over as hostess and throw pool parties in my yard and prance around in her bikini in my pool with my children watching?
Could they be that cruel? I know Kyle and Adrienne and the rest of the girls would love it. That beyatch Faye Resnick is just waiting to see this happen. I know she doesn’t like me just because I told everybody she posed in playboy after Nicole Brown Simpson was murdered. I mean, she is Nicole’s best friend and your friend is just murdered, and you friggin pose for playboy? I dont’ understand these types of people and I want nothing to do with them, but I know she would love it if Kayte became the next Beverly Hills Housewife.
You know what? I hate him. I hate my husband. I never want to see him again. He sucks….
This is too much. It’s too much. I can’t allow this to happen. I can’t. I can’t. I think I’m going to try to get my own reality show, like Bethenny Frankel. She got her own show after she got married. I need to find someone to get married to quick. Then they will give me my own show and I can to Artificial…well, actually no. I am still fertile. I can still have babies.
OMG what would I do if they hire Kayte Walsh?
I don’t care! She’s boring. The show was all about me, anyways. People tuned in to see what I was doing, wearing and saying. I was the show and with me off it, it is going to be totally boring and that beyatch of Kelsey’s, that Kayte….omg. I just realized their names both begin with K. Kelsey and Kayte. How quaint. How quaint.
I should claw her eyes out.
Thank god they don’t know how quietly desperate I feel right now. I hate them. I hate them all.