Want a divorce and don't know what to say? Here's how to say it the diplomatic way

Here’s how to ask for a divorce diplomatically

I no longer feel that I can fulfill your needs and meet the standard of care¬†you deserve in a spouse; therefore, for your own best interest and in total consideration of your rights and entitlements, I relinquish my position as your spouse, effective immediately; I will have my attorney draft up the papers and I trust that we will be able to handle this matter with the utmost discretion and proportion….and I just want you to know that this in no way erases the many years we have had together as a marital union. It simple means that going forward, we will be doing so in an altered status. Our children in no way will be drawn into this situation. I pledge to continue to be their parent and I trust you will do the same….now, I will give you some time to digest this announcement and during the next intervening months, I shall reside (wherever) in a nearby hotel, such that you will not be discomforted by having to look at my face or observe my daily shenanigans….and I will always love you….so long, and goodbye