When divorce happens and there is an infant baby in the picture

Divorcing with an infant baby in the picture? Or are you still pregnant?

Hush little baby, don’t say a word, mommy’s gonna buy you a mocking bird….

Sometimes, you get divorced and you’re pregnant or you  just had a baby and you are so completely devastated, you don’t even know what to do with yourself. This is something I find unimaginable, on a personal level, btw. I can’t imagine getting a divorce while pregnant (it’s like driving while drunk) or having a young infant child and having to deal with the depression of divorce. As if post-partum depression wasn’t enough, now I have to be going to divorce court while I’m a lactating mother? Are you serious???
But it happens to people. It happens. And somehow, they manage. They cope.
I guess the big question in this scenario is, “who gets custody of the child?” Well, obviously, if you are still preggers, you are the one who gets custody. If you have the baby, then it depends. Most courts in the U.S. don’t technically follow the tender age doctrine anymore. When they did, back in the day, it meant that any child under, say, five years of age was going to go to mom, automatically. Now, courts are more gender neutral. They believe that dad can breastfeed. Well, strike that. He can’t necessarily breast feed (although I am sure there are some ambitious ones who try) but he can certainly make bottled milk and administer it to the baby or have a babysitter or his girlfriend do it. So that is going to mean it is possible that dad will get custody of the infant child, even a new born.
But that is rare. Something seriously untoward would have to be wrong with mom for that to happen. Because all medical doctors agree that breast milk is best for the baby and this idea that they are going to take an infant child who needs its mother’s milk and give dad custody all in the name of being politically correct? Please. I am not impressed with that reasoning at all.
Dad can have generous visitation till the baby is weaned off momma’s breast, alright? I mean, seriously.
Anyways, I certainly hope that this doesn’t happen to you. I think it is really sad to get divorced at a time like that. It should literally be the most beautiful time in someone’s life — having a baby with the person they pledged to love forever. And to have the whole thing implode when the baby is due or freshly arrived? Sad.
………………….well, what little personal anecdote can I share today? Well, I ate eight bananas today. Literally. Does that make me a glutton? Does that officially make me a glutton? Tell the truth, cause I don’t care. Eight bananas, darling! EIGHT!
Alright?….and yes, it does make me look preggers at this point. And I don’t care. 🙂
You know what? Good luck if this situation applies to you. It can’t be easy. But others have survived it, and I think you will be able to get through it too. Hang tough.